Dad is 91 and I can handle him most of the time until he falls or doesn't want to do something. then its a challenge.
During the day, I am gone half the time (he refuses any help when im not here) as I am an Executive Director of an animal clinic. fortunately, I have good staff and can work from home most of the time. In my business life, I have to talk strategic planning, project management, FTE coverage flows, etc. Once I get off the phone, I have to completely and entirely change who I am in order to reach him. In fact, his first few words are "You are THAT important?" (said to bait me cause he had to wait, hanging over my shoulder while I finished up a conference call. We have a housekeeper, once everyother week; he hates her. Says she steals things. Any help with how to avoid the transition from business executive to "bossy daughter" mode, which was always my childhood tag? I want so badly to not boss him, but being that its in my personality (and his too) its hard for me to even boss someone that cant think logically. He broke his hand last week and pulled the cast off when I wasn't looking because I refused to do it for him and lectured him on why he needs to leave it on. He takes oxycodone and then drinks when I am not looking (I cannot even begin to try to take his alcohol away at 91) so I have hidden his oxycodone and he accuses me of being addicted to them so that's why I take them.
okay, my head hurts just talking .... going for the aspirins (which is as strong as it gets for me...)
How do go into a detached mode--- is that what I need to do? when dealing with him. Does anyone have a similar transition to make or know of any books that have helped?