My mother in law needs help with her with basic needs & her husband has decided to leave....her....alone...
Apparently it's so her husband can take a better paying job offer out of state instead of working locally...?
Must be a heck of an offer.
We are expected to drop our home, move in, & fill this gap. As well as pay her husband to do so- working out the numbers they are demanding leaves us with nothing really.
Meanwhile, my partner & I are unable to quit our jobs or reduce hours without some consequences.
Feeling like this has been dropped in laps out of nowhere I decided to reach out to her immediate family in this time of need - the response was not supportive.
I have done all I can to convince her & her husband that there is professional help for this very situation: the response? No way.
On top of this the house she is living in is a nightmare for someone living with the after effects of a stroke...
Everyone seems to think that I can do this b/c I was caring for her during her first diagnosis [stage 4 -ovarian cancer.]
I was 22 at the time & she was 49...
& that was 10 months of me stuck on her ranch cargiving/cleaning/animal caregiving/working full time/never sleeping/fighting with my spouse lol
That was hard- but her health has completely nosedived since...
Now it's three years later & she's had a major stroke on top of this...
I'm expected to move in with her in a week as she needs 24/7 care in reality...
Her needs are about everything you can think of including bathroom/bathing as she refuses to wear depends because they're 'unflattering'
I feel as is the cards are stacked against us and something terrible could happen if she is left unattended.
Another note: her narcissism makes it very difficult to set and keep boundaries with her & she expects more out of me than her son
I've typed this all up on my cracked phone screen so i hope its understandable!
Is there any way we can just say no to this?
& what steps should we take if we do refuse?
This is too much right? I feel as if they are both unreasonable at this point with the lack compromise.