Any caregivers with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue?

Catcoker, I hear you, it would be so great if there were help provided for non-welfare patients and their caregivers. I provide care 3-4 days per week for free, for my folks in their 90's. Thus far it hasn't been too awfully hard to do, just a giant juggling act between them, me, my self-employment, my kids and oh yes I have a spouse (somewhere....). In order to have state help with caregiving they would have a huge spend-down, and even then my state doesn't pay family to do companion care. It just seems totally silly, there has got to be a tax deduciton or something, at some point. Its sad to see seniors who have scrimped, sacrificed and saved for 50 or more years, be told they don't deserve any help from the government they dutifully paid their taxes to. Oops don't mean to get political. Bu I think every one can appreciate how some seniors have been oooh so very careful with their limited funds, and were being totally responsible, not spending on lavish homes, cars or vacations, and they deserve to be able to spend their twilight years in some comfort finally? Or are we suppose to spend spend spend and then apply for welfare? Seems there is literally no middle ground.

terrygma
what about Meals on Wheels? do you belong to a church with an auxiliary? The ladies in that group might be able to pull together a schedule to get a meal to your dad at least once a week. Can your weekly caregiver get some meals together to freeze for him? or just put in the fridge for the next day.?

Samara -- The middle class is in trouble on so many levels. Don't get me started! I hope you find your spouse. Did you check the laundry hamper? :) Bettyb21-- I have looked into Meals on Wheels and would consider using them if I get in a predicament like before where I am too sick for caregiving. Good idea. Thank you both for you responses. Take care and be well!

You are all amazing. I am in need of a knee replacement and I can't lift as much weight as I used to. I care for my mother. My mother is 95 and in fairly good health, but she had two serious falls lat year and is currently in a rehab nursing home. This time she fractured her knee cap and shoulder. I go to the nursing
home every evening and I do her laundry. My 87 year old father visits with my mother from 11:30 till I get there around 5:00, then I stay till about 7:30 so I can accompany my mom at dinner. My siblings don't help much. Their excuse is that they work. I'm recently retired. When mom is discharged, she will be coming home to me, again. Again no help. Sallie, I have also begged for help. .still waiting. My niece and my son are the only ones willing to give my dad and me a break. I'm just venting. I'm resentful that I don't have a life of my own and I'm not doing all the things i planned on doing "when I retire".Not sure why I picked tonight to vent, but thank you all for being here.

commochic, instead of bringing Mom home, you go get your knee replaced and you go to rehab for a couple of weeks. Allow at least 4 months recovery. It will feel like a vacation after all you have been through. It did for me, anyway.

Commo, me and my husband are retired too. My husband is 58 and was able to retire from the Govt because he had enough years in. We planned on traveling because we are still young. I'm 53. I really didn't retire, just went to being a substitute lunch aide after doing it for 8 years. We can't travel much because of my mom's condition and sometimes I regret not being able to get up and go like my one sister who goes away often. She doesn't have a care in the world. If I want to go away I have to make sure there is someone to look over my mom and get her mail. I have to make sure all her appointments are taken care of and she us stocked up on food. I can't even fully relax while on vacation and call her every day.

Oh God Bless You! I will be praying for you. I have been severely I'll for 18 years and to many doctors...told it was so many things...well found out 2 months ago it was advanced limes disease. I have constant brain fog, fatigue...been very hard. My two severely disabled parents live with me. My dad is 85 severe stroke, wheelchair bound and needs help with everything. ?..and is a handful and not nice. My mom is 81 and uses a walker need two hip and two knee replacements, bone on bone. She has congestive heart failure, gout, diabetes, needs wound care which I do and is a sputnick to care for. I can honestly say I hang in there for the love of Jesus. I need to have something to offer up in life and this is it. This life is never free of suffering but if we embrace the cross we can carry it easier.

Some may not agree, but that is why I do it..out of duty, love and loyalty. It helps with keeping Jesus in mind and what he had to suffer.
I did manage to get to good fibromyalgia doctor that is very well known and I do not know if I can give his info here. Let me know because I can tell you his name and he has done wonders for fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue patients

I have a severely messed up back which has left me in severe pain 24/7 for 15 yrs now in back and legs. I have now developed fibro and experience migraines. I have multiple other health problems also. I am taking care of both of my parents who, after a hellish yr., are now in an assisted living facility. My mom has dementia & Parkinson's and dad is in early stages of dementia . I am the only help they have. I'm trying to take care of all of their Dr. appts. and finances and insurance, etc as well as mine and I'm totally overwhelmed. I spend half my day n bed laying down to get relief from the horrible pain. When you're in so much pain it makes it difficult to concentrate, think, make decisions and visit my parents as well as take care of myself and my home which is a disaster rt. now. Can't hire anyone as we have no money and I'm doing best I can but wish I could do more.
It's good to read the answers to above question. It really helps me.

I would recommend you google Dr. Terry Wahls. She also has a Facebook page with lots of information. Short story, she had MS and was in a wheelchair. Took matters into her own hands when medications were not helping her. Studied nutrition and changed her diet. Found out food allergies, eliminated dairy, sugar and gluten. She is now healed. Out of her wheelchair and riding horses. She isn't the only one either. Her diet program, The Wahls Protocol, is helping people with fibromyalgia and other disorders. I have RA and when I follow the Autoimmune Protocol of the Paleo Diet (no nightshades and also eliminate all the above) I notice my joint pain goes away. I also lost 35 pounds in 5 months. Read and study. I just might change your life.

Hi sallie,
My Mother is also dying with COPD and is on oxygen 24-7I am so sorry you have your own health problems on top of taking care of your Mother.I have 2 brothers who never lift a finger to help too.I quit hoping for them to grow up and face reality.My Mother and I live together along with my husband and pets.I am 54 and Mother is 85.I just wanted you to know that I get your situation and I will include you in my prayers.Take good care.luckylu

I'm going through that right now. My mother doesn't understand that it's become more and more difficult for me to do things for her. She lets her laundry pile up and expects me to do it for her. I tried to get someone in to help, and she won't have any of it. It's hard enough for me to do her grocery shopping and carry the packages in for her. She then uses the old, "Just wait until you get to be my age" guilt trip on me, and that just crushes me every time.

I hope that we can find a solution to this. I understand your pain, in more ways than one.