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A caregiver must care for themselves or they won't be able to care for anyone else. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services, ask about in home programs that will assist you in caring for your mom. they should also have caregiver services such as respite and caregiver support.
I have fibro & arthritis, rest is important. Eating healthy is also important as is exercise. Walking is good and can be done at your own pace. See if your insurance covers physical therapy, they can show you some things you can do at home to help ease pain and increase flexibility. You find what works for you, what ever that balance may be. I care for my dad, when he was sick I slept when he slept, ate when he ate etc. You can enlist family members to assist as well, even if it's running to the market to pick up bread and milk. Everything someone does-helps. Find time to look at a magazine or read a chapter in a book. Make some time for yourself even if it's 15 minutes at a time. Good luck.
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I feel for you. It's tough enough being a caregiver, let alone having your own issues. I've been caring for my 77 yr old mother who has COPD and is on oxygen 24/7. I have been through stage 2 breast cancer with chemo and radiation. I live with residual effects from this along with chronic pain. Thankfully she moved next door to me 4 years ago and I don't have to drive 50 minutes to care for her anymore. I have 3 sisters one of which is out of the picture all together and 2 who rarely help out. Mom won't except outside help. She never drove or made friends. She doesn't bother me for a lot, but I do her shopping, banking, take her to doctors, give her dinner every night, do small task around her house and am her company every night for at least an hour. I have learned to live with doing everything and stopped asking, groveling and begging for help from my sister's because it was making me sicker. Do you have siblings? How far does your mother live from you?
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My wife and I look after her mom. My wife has severe neurological problems that limit her mobility and the Docs are still trying to get to the bottom of it. I'm a physically disabled vet. Basically, we're trying to run 2 households (MiL lives next door) on 3 limited incomes. At times, it can be pretty demanding to keep up. I've been doing most of the cooking for all 3 of us for almost a year now. Housecleaning, I take care of the kitchen and vacuum the houses when I get a chance. Plus any maintenance work that is within my abilities.

We make do with what we can
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I meant hit a wall and being fed. I should know better than to do the talk and text thing.
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been doing the same I am recovering from a right hip replacement and need the left hip replaced. I was trying to pack my dads house so that we could move him to Oregon to be with us and manage his care and after the fourth day I had a wall and had to stay in bed the entire day. Luckily he can do a little bit for himself like fix toast and cereal for breakfast and he really doesn't do anything else except watch TV or go outside and smoke but it is hard because I know he won't eat dinner unless there is something he can just pull from the refrigerator and heat up, so I did make sure I had easy foods and healthy snacks for him. I got pre cut watermelon and sliced apples with caramel and then pre cut up vegetables and a box of salad so he can throw together very easily and I had barbecued a steak and sliced it very thin and put it in separate packets so that he can have a well balanced meal. That way I can rest and he is still being said and cared for. We also have a caregiver and a home health nurse once a week
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All I've got now is a severe cold, with aches and pains, and I have to take care of myself. My husband has had to fend for himself, but the hunger instincts kick in, and he does feed himself. I rally to give him his meds, but basically I am either in bed or being a zombie in front of the t.v. Take care of yourself, hire some help, and if you cannot, have your mother placed because your illnesses don't resolve in 7 - 10 days.
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My heart and prayers go to you and your loved one. My mom is "recovering" from a stroke, my husband is getting ready for 6th back surgery and has A-fib and has had 4 TIA's....I have MS. My biggest help so far has been going to first physical therapy and now the gym 3 times a week.It took me 12 years to figure this out but what a difference...you have to take care of you first and I was not strong enough to follow through with exercise at home, somehow the discipline of being expected at the gym, having to schedule around it on my calendar has changed my life. Second is find yourself a doctor you can talk to and will help you work with your symptoms, not just give you what works for everyone else. Third lesson I have learned recently is you can only do what your mom wants and will let you do. For day to day care, I do what she needs and wants and have stopped asking, suggesting, trying to explain. If I can't meet a particular need/request I will tell her and so far she manages to find another solution...I know this will change but I was wasting so much emotional energy stressing out about why won't she just try this or do that but I forgot she is 81 and I am her baby...why would I know more than her? Thanks to everyone on this site I realize things might get a whole lot tuffer but my husband keeps fighting everyday and has rehabbed from one operation after another and inspires me. Sorry so long of a post, your question really hit home. All the best to you.
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Take care of yourself. No reason an agency can't have two clients, one your love and one YOU. You can also have multiple agencies ones for your LO and others hired by you for you. Discuss your needs and plans up-front.
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Take care of yourself, and do for your mom what and when you can. See if you can get her meds changed if she is screaming at you all the time. If it isn"t enough, someone will have to help. A family member or outsider. (professional)
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Is there any chance they have a Health department in your town? I used to work for the one in my old town. You could hire someone for a couple of hours (has to be a minimum of two hours to make it worth their while) to take care of your loved one and do light housekeeping, etc, which could free you up to take care of yourself for a couple hours. You pay them at the end of their time and it never used to be an exorbitant amount. Some people would hire home health aide every week for one day for couple of hours or so.
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Suzanne50, I'm sorry that your illness has intensified over the last year, having fibro is hard and unpredictable to manage at times. I know dealing with the added stress probably isn't helping, but it is unavoidable when caring and worrying about your loved ones health and well-being.

I have fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disease and migranes. Flare ups come without warning and can make the simplest of chores unbearable. Sometimes it is very hard to balance your own life and daily activities even on a good day, besides adding in caring for a loved one on top of it.

I try my best to get good uninterrupted sleep when possible to function more efficiently so that my pain and brain fog isn't intensified, so I make sleep my priority.
Since having to run two households I keep notebooks of daily notes for my to do lists, and I have two calendars to manage appointments and bills. I know for me my mind will not shut off at night unless I keep my schedule in order and I stay on top of it. Keeping that stress down helps my sleep schedule alot.
Excersise(stretching), meditation, and deep breathing exercises are things I do to try to keep my pain levels in check on stressful days. Somedays I'm successful, but sometimes not so much. I go to a pain management dr. that tries to give me techniques so that I can avoid extra meds for break thru pain. It took along time but together we found a combination of both exercise and meds that finally helped me live a more normal life with less pain. You might want to read up on certain foods that can make flare ups worse and some that might help elevate. Certain supplements help others but I did not have success.
I am lucky to have a understanding and wonderful husband to do the heavy lifting to prevent me from overdoing or pushing myself to do more than I should. Listen to your body and say NO at times to chores or it will have to wait until another time. Sometimes it is what is needed to protect yourself from overdoing it and making youself feel worse. If you don't set limits you will not be there to help tomorrow.

I know these ideas will not work for everyone but I hope you find relief in some of the answers you might hear from some of us.

Be well
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