Are there other caregivers that feel spacey a lot?

JessieBelle, I know how you feel. I think a lot of my spacey feeling is due to I'm trying to take care of a dying mother and take care of myself at the same time. Be a caregiver totally takes over your life, physically and emotionally and mentally. Even when I get a break, I'm constantly thinking about what I have to do when I return. It's like my mind has been reprogrammed.

I feel lightheaded and shaky if I do too much running around. And not getting enough sleep. (I have fibromyalgia) I don't want to drive when I feel that way.

I can't think straight when I'm with my mother, following her around stores. I can't think straight when she's in the car with me, talking and asking questions. Sometimes when I'm driving her somewhere I end up turning down the wrong road, and have to turn around and go back and she grunts.

I've been having trouble remembering what day of the week it is. It blurs together. Is it Tuesday? Wednesday? Do I have to take her somewhere today? I have to keep checking the calendar.

I agree about staying hydrated.

JessieBelle, seems many of us share your feelings so let's hope it's normal with the relentless stress we're under. Garden Artist puts it so well in describing this situation that we couldn't possibly have been prepared for. I too worry if Alz could be catching and look forward to shedding the pounds packed on by stress. And to ISHB59, a big well-deserved hug to you today. We all care.

GardenArtist,
Thanks for that important information about celery being a diuretic!
The advice given to me was drink 16 oz., and I modified that to 8 oz.
Will revise my celery juicing accordingly.
The old adage 'Moderation in everything' holds true, once again, and always consider the original source before passing on info to others.

I need a legal disclaimer written for all my posts now!

I get spacey and forgetful a lot and start tripping that I'm getting dementia because that's what my mother has and I feel like it may be kicking in. I think I'm blowing it up, but it's one of my trips.

Send, celery is a diuretic. Interesting, isn't it? I found that out when researching it. Be careful of losing potassium though, as that happened to me. I couldn't figure why I felt so weak until I was advised of the low potassium when I had the appendectomy.

Moe, good idea to read books with winter scenes! You share some good ideas too. Photos of winter scenes are helpful during summer, and photos of summer scenes helpful in winter.


I also find math problems help keep me oriented, even though I've forgotten so much.

I was thinking that one of the strange feelings about the spaceyness is the sense that I've found myself having slipped into a situation unlike any other, a situation in which I've never found myself, for which I was never educated, prepared, or planned for. Many events are alien to me. I'm still struggling to find adequate solutions as well as to successfully adapt to ongoing changes.

It's somewhat like having interviewed for a job, accepted it, and found it's nothing for which I was prepared.

Sometimes it reminds me of the movie The Martian - lost and abandoned in an alien environment, being forced to make a lot of uncomfortable compromises to survive. Except that I'm still here on earth.

JessieBelle: Yes, there was one time when I wanted to pull up to the Nursing Home with my mother in the car because we were just visiting 2 people there, but instead I drove to the local hotel where my brother would stay when he visited. I don't know where my head was at! You're not alone, Jessie!

I think I know exactly what you mean - because I feel that way, too. I was just telling a friend the other day, I feel like I am just watching the world go on around me without really being a part of it. I'm thinking it could be 1) some depression, for sure, and 2) a result of dealing with Mom who is really not part of reality anymore, herself. I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but it really makes me feel better that I am not alone in feeling this way! Thanks for sharing!!!!

GARDEN ARTIST - try reading books that take place in winter with lots of snow - it helps somewhat ... lol

I define your 'spacey' as if you're walking in a circle in a pool of water for some time & can't remember how many times you've done the circuit - I have to deal with 2 parents in different places [can't have them in same place because they have same first & last names so records will possibly {& have done already} got missed up] so that nearly doubles my work

I play several games which have 'concentration' elements as well as problem solving to try to keep the 'little grey cells working' to quote Agatha Christie - it seems small but 10 - 15 minutes a day is like taking a hone to a knife to keep my brain working at top speed - I look forward to it every day & miss the few days that I have to skip - this is my time to rejuvenate myself & I believe this is good for my dealing in regards to my parents' safeguards -

DON'T NEGLECT YOURSELF - those few minutes of respite can sharpen you to deal with others on your parents behave - there is a balance that everyone needs to make & each person is different - keep strong

There are days that I am so spacey I feel like dying my hair back to blonde again !! [no offense to those who are blonde].

Did I already tell you all this? When I was juicing 8 oz. of organic celery each morning, I lost 6 pounds that month, and ate what ever I wanted. Do it before eating anything, make sure it's organic. If you don't like the taste, add some apple.
That will jumpstart any diet. I forgot how good I was starting to feel.

Hoping that soon everyone can start to feel better.

micalost, thank you for what you wrote. There is this constant stress even when things are not physically difficult. There's also the loneliness and boredom. I think that has a lot to do with it.

I was thinking of your name micalost and tagged on 30 lbs to the end of it. It sounds easier to lose 5 lbs. I think that should be the goal -- sounds a lot more reachable. :)

Dear PCVS
I totally agree about not abondoning your parents. My husband and I took care of his dad n step mom when dad had bladder cancer n step mom had her 5 th heart attack. He has three. One was on tour of duty for two years. One couldn't stop working and the one who didn't work or do anything just recently told her brother, ' she wasn't in the right place'. We never held it against anyone. You have to live with your decisions. My mom was an abusive parent but that never stopped me from taking care of her and I'm so grateful everyday that I did because while the disease took away her memories she became the sweetest person. The mom I always wanted. I know that was a gift God. 💜
As far as my kids, there are lots of excuses because they all know I need a break and dad would love to see them. I have for years asked to have a family Sunday dinner once or twice a month n well that doesn't work for anyone. So I've just pretty much given up. My son who does visits when he's not working or taking care of their newborn or 3 yr old will come over.
No I don't understand why the rest of the kids don't help or visit but something that they will have to live with. Hope everyone has a blessed day.

Jessie, when I cared for my mom I thought for sure Alz was contagious and I was getting it. - It was the prolonged years of stress - I am just now finding, after a year of her in a home, that I am starting to have a memory. Although I still have problems with word-finding.
But during those years I suffered from dissociation and spacing out - now to figure out how to lose the thirty pounds i put on.

Geamisusie, I don't understand how living parents can be more or less abandoned by their offspring. I have been caring for my mother for 10 years. She gas end stage Alzheimers, now, and receiving at home hospice. It helps that she is the sweetest person on earth, but still there have been difficulties if all kinds. Nonetheless, I chose this path. Helping another human being, especially if it is life saving and gives contentment, is one if the most important accomplishments a person can have done.

I feel badly for you that your children don't want to help. But perhaps they really don't understand your situation. Have a family meeting st the next family get-together.

I have just joined about a month or so ago. I have questions. A lot but just reading all the comments a few has been answered and for that I am grateful. My name is Susie. I'm 57. I have arthritis n Mild RA. Pulmonary Sarcoidosis, depression since I was a child but not treated till mid 30's. Fibromyalgia and high blood pressure that's hard to control at times. I'm disabled. Aside from all this, I along with my brother took care of mom who died of ALZ. In 07 for almost 2 yrs ( where I flew back n forth from LA to CA) it was a very hard time for me being away from my husband n grown kids.in 09 I volunteered for four years with kids. Which I loved. Then I started having severe headaches and found out I have occipital neuralgia. AND we found out my husband who is type ll diabetic, has ALS. I had to resign from volunteering. I was a CASA. I have been caring for him when he is home, dressing, cooking cleaning well everything. He is still going to work trying to get his last two years for full retirement. It's very hard on him but he is determined more because having his medical taken care of now is very much needed. He has IVIG infusions back to back 2 days at home once a month. We have 6 kids and only one helps when he's able. 3 are out of state. My BIL has been repairing things around the house which we are grateful. But I'm over whelmed and depressed. I don't have a friend here to visit n talk to. and the kids who live close don't visit. They know this upsets me because I feel they should spend time with their dad. He is and was when they were small, an amazing dad. We were very active in their lives. They had good lives. We are not rich but did stuff like scout, youth group and coach n church, football n music activities. They all graduated. They know I need a break every now n then n they don't care. My youngest will come and allows his daughter (3 yrs) to spend lots of time with us and that makes my husband happy. He also just had another daughter who's only a month old.
So I'm glad I have this site to read. There are things we need to do. Aka a will etc. He will need a motorized wheelchair in the nearby soon. And a vehicle that can transport him which I don't know how we will pay for that. Probably sell both old cars and have to find one I can drive. I'm very short n petrified of driving large vehicles. We live comfortably but don't know how long. We don't own our home yet. Just had the bathrooms redone to make it easier to bathe him. Just so much. Thank You 😄 for listening.

Tree people gone. This day will go down in infamy. The tree people were great and did a good job. Mom was miserable and complaining all day. I finally told her the workers didn't bother me at all, but she was making me miserable. No matter how hard I try, I just can't dig up any more compassion. She can't have it all ways. She wanted the limbs cut, but she wanted it done magically, I guess.

If she had met the workers, she would have known how nice they were. I took them a couple of cokes throughout the afternnon and they were so appreciative of them. That felt good. It was a hot day, so they needed something cool.

Well, it's not the same as FOG. It's probably mental exhaustion. We are supposed to have the tree people come in to do some cutting today. Mom got up saying she was sick and needed to go to the doctor. I reminded her the tree people were coming and she jumped on me. It is easy to see how someone might want to check out of the reality of what's happening. Maybe my mind is on respite.

Anyway... it turns out she wanted to go to the doctor because he butt had a sore place. I looked and didn't see anything. I gave her some Aquaphor to put on the sore place. I have a feeling she wanted to go to the doctor to put a monkey wrench into the tree cutting schedule. It's the only thing I can figure.

I have the hardest time figuring how someone is sick all day every day for 10 years and still be fit enough to perhaps live another 10. It seems like a total waste of resources to die mentally and spiritually twenty years before the actual date.

Is "feeling spacey" similar to what others have described as the f.o.g. ?
Fear. Obligation. Guilt.

Jessebelle, Hoping you are soon feeling better!
In agreement with drinking more water!
Can you put some lemon in it?

ah, yes, dehydration !! One time I was in such a fog that I had my neighbor drive me to urgent care. I thought I had something really major, it was just dehydration. I shouldn't say "just" as it can create a lot of weird symptoms. Pinch the skin on your hand, if the pinch stands up for awhile, then you need to drink water.

For me, I am back on my Children's Claritin, I like the grape flavor :) and that seems to help me.

Vit. C
Zinc
7-up
take a baby aspirin and call the dr. in the morning.
Breathe deeply
Breathe deeply 3x to get oxygen to your brain
Shower before bed

Hoping you already went to sleep.

Jessebelle, One time when things were overloading me, Assandache was so kind to remind me that I was sane. As a joke, I came back with something like:
"Great, I have just been declared sane by someone who calls themselves, " ass and ache!"
So, if you get a chuckle from me or anyone else declaring you sane, go ahead and have a little laugh at our expense! But, if Assandache says it, you can believe it!

Looked up this article here, on this forum:
EMOTIONAL WELLBEING
10 Signs of Caregiver Stress

It does seem like flu season has started. Take care of yourself!
Here, have some bunny hugs! ~ ~ ~ ~ * hug hop hug hop hug hop!

I get spacey a lot. I don't know how old you are Jessie but that is also a symptom of menopause. My Hubs is always asking me "What are you thinking about?" Usually I'm not thinking about anything. Just spacing out. One day I went to the kitchen to put on the kettle for some tea. I was sitting in the front room wondering why the kettle hadn't started to whistle. I got up and saw that I had put the stove burner on but the kettle wasn't on it. Looked everywhere for the kettle and finally found it in the fridge. :P

Babalou, strange you should mention that. I'd read brain fog could be from dehydration, so I've been drinking more water. I also have some congestion. I thought it might have been a remnant of the years of smoking and damage to my lungs. I had walking pneumonia last winter. I think I'll go to urgent care tomorrow to get some tests. Bad thing about smoking is that even after you quit, your lungs are still sensitive to infection. I remember I felt totally out of it and had a lot of congestion last winter when I had the walking pneumonia. Thanks for reminding me.

Sorry I ever smoked. I wish that no young person would ever pick up the habit again. If only they could see the future and the damage it does.

Jessie; two thoughts. Drink more water. The feeling you describe is one that I get when I'm coming down with pneumonia. I've had it three times in my life, and it's a very distinct feeling of "I'm not really here, my feet aren't touching the ground". Not a good thought, but, you might be coming down with something.

Lots of water!

Jessie, missing a destination is common I think, when we're preoccupied, which many of us probably are. I've done that occasionally, then realized after a bit that I'm going the wrong way, missed my exit or destination and need to double back.

If by spacey you're also including a situation when your thoughts come and go faster than fireflies, I think that's normal when we're preoccupied or stressed out. A friend used to mention when she was in law school that sometimes she felt as if she was meeting herself coming and going.

Sometimes I think of thoughts colliding and competing for my brain space as a crowded skating rink with people skating every which way and bumping into each other. Or worse yet, one of those bump car places where people drive miniature cars and try to avoid bumping into each other. Or sometimes like a football field with some thoughts getting through and others getting trampled or stomped by competing thoughts.

FF, when it's unbearably hot, I check the NatGeo or Smithsonian channel for weather programs of Greenland, the Arctic or Antarctica. Helps cool me down.

Jessie, oh my gosh, I am going through the same thing.... I think it is because my Dad has been in the hospital since Saturday, I know he is in excellent hands, it is just the uncertainly.

I also found I couldn't remember so many different things, it started to scare me. Once I got to work and settled in then that fear went away. I kept telling myself it is my fall seasonal allergies... and let's add that full moon to the mix. No wonder one of my cats was acting like a 2 year old instead of 15.... he was attacking every leaf on the desk.

Plus I am upset with Mother Nature for all this hot weather.... like enough of this hot flash outdoors. Bring in a light dusting of snow, please. I am ready !!

Stacey, I try to go to the wrong place so often. I'll be going to the post office to mail something, then drive right past like I'm going to the grocery store. Where am I going? Makes me realize how my mind can wander everywhere. Probably free floating anxiety carrying my brain on top of it.

I have a habit of of doing a 30 second tidying up, while my husband goes to start the car and waits for me, then when we get back, he wonders, who folded up the throw blankets, put the phones on the chargers, put the dogs dish and coffee mugs in the sink, and his shoes into the bedroom, and the meat out to thaw. He never thinks of the 20 quick things I do, every time we leave the house, guys don't have those things constantly running through their heads. I think women, or in this case Caregivers brain's just Never Turn Off, and compile that with Lack of Sleep, and Sheer Frustration? Yep, your NORMAL!!!