How can I find a caregivers support group?

Linda, you are full of ideas aren't you. That is such an idea. Of course, money is the only issue for me. The first opportunity to purchase an RV, I'll jump on it. Thanks for sharing the info. about your uncle. It is good to know Mom is not alone. Sometimes I am embarrased to mention it. Thanks so much for your great ideas.

Love-Jen

Restroom stops every 30 minutes are in...at least for caregivers! lol Making it to the rest room on an airline, no matter how close due to mobility impairment and balancing issues is no small matter.

RV- What a great idea. Mom and Dad took grandma when she ws in her 80's to Las Vegas to visit her daughter's grave. What a trip Pee stops every half hour, but they made it. She could rest and enjoy the view. Good idea Micheleangel!!

Linda

RV rental is an awesome idea...for me, Micheleangel! Thanks for sharing and caring. That allows travel at Mom's pace, rather than a mass trasnportation schedule. Love your creative angle.

I know some assisted living facilities have temporary stay. I don't know if this is everywhere but you could give some places a call. I don't know if you every thought of renting an RV but they make some beautiful ones with kitchens, showers, separate bedrooms etc. if you wanted her to travel with you. You could also try the caretakers that come in to your home they will stay over too, but very expensive. Good luck

godsbeautiful, perhaps your East Coast relatives are the ones who need to hop on a plane if they truly wish to see your Mom that much. I had an uncle who never once set foot on a plane and died at the age of 90-something, perfectly content. Another one of my relatives took one airplane trip once in his life and vowed to never do so again. He, too, died in his 90's and was perfectly content to take drives to go fishing with his lifetime fishing buddies. No shame in your Mom's phobia.

How about train? She could ride in comfort, even have a bed to sleep in when she needs to rest. We took it to Florida once and many people really enjoy it.

Thank you very much Linda. Glad to be part of a circle that understands my issues. Mom is able to walk. However, she has developed a phobia about traveling on a plane, boat, etc. I am the only daughter and relative in LA. The rest of the family lives on the east coast. However, they want her to travel to see them. My only sister lives in Temecula, CA and will not even partake in this endeavor.

Jennet, I just saw your comment about the pressure from other relatives to bring your Mom with you on the trip. I, too, have been there. I totally ignore those comments, up to and including, "Can she walk?" and, "Airlines offer wheelchair service, you know," and, "No one these days allows any of that to hold them back."

Until someone has walked a mile in your Mom's and your shoes, I say, you are the one who has chosen the privilige and honor of being your Mom's caregiver, not anyone else, no matter how lously they may speak when it pertains to decisions you have to live with from day-ti-day.

From everything you have shared with us here, you are the one who knows, and who has the good sense to ask others when you may be unsure of your next step, as you have done in this forum. Relatives may be well-intended, but they have not chosen the challenging path of caregiving, so you, godsbeautiful, keep right on trucking, and keep right on planning, and caregiving. Most importantly, I admire you for not forcing your worldview on your Mom, simply because she is now older and dependent on you for her assistive care. You are truly a patient advocate, in my eyes. For me, that is the only way to fulfill my chosen path of caregiving to my parent.

Your Mom still deserves dignity and respect, in the manner you clearly offer her. As the credit card ad says, "Priceless." May God continue to bless you both. Hold fast to your serenity of Spirit. It shines and leaps right off my desktop monitor, I want you to know. Hugs.

I will. Thanks a lot.

Jennet

Jennet,
This site has helped me so much as well. Keep me posted.
Linda

Linda, You are Godsend. The information you've provided is invaluable. I will definitely look into the various resources available to Mom. Thanks so much for your continued support. I came to the right place for support.

Have a nice day.

Jennet

The agency I use is called Comfort Keepers. However, there are many others across the country. I have tried 3, and this one works for me. Your social worker can get you in touch with the respite program for your state. I know that the cost per hour differs greatly across the country and also,it depends on the level of care you need for the person for whom you are caring. My overnight care on a 24 hour basis is 215.00.( private care) However, that will be different per agency and state.

My department on the aging faxed me a complete list of agencies and programs for the state.( contact the social worker from your hospital for the correct numbers to call. She has made 3 visits to our house!) You should be able to do the same thing. Also, the best defense is your family DR or your elder's DR. He got me visiting nurse for the summer and it has been a Godsend!!! Did you know that every time you have a change in your physical condition: example -a fall, high blood pressure, edema, your elder qualifies for services all over again? My mom fell at Christmas and she got a home health worker, physical therapy and occupation therapy along with the visiting nurse for over 3 weeks. She did not have to go to the hospital to qualify. Every little bit helps.


Good luck.
Linda

IF you don't mind posting the info., I would appreciate it very much. Thanks so much.

I have an agency that I use, and one of my day time woman is going to stay with mom when we go away. Mom loves her, so it will be easy, not cheap, but worth the money!!

Oh, great! Thanks for the many ideas you have offered. I will do some research in my area. I need to have back up plans that will be consistent. Thanks a lot. Have a nice day.

Nursing homes and assisted living have respite care programs where they can come as a guest. The cost is less than a long time resident.

Thank you so much for your great ideas. I will make some calls to nearby friends who be willing to Mom-sit while we travel. I need the help mostly for the night shift. During the day, she can go to the senior center. Thanks for your support. I was getting a lot of pressure from out-of-state family members to bring her anyway. Glad to know that I don't have to exercise that option. If something happened to her, I would not be able to live with myself.

Thanks, again.

godsbeautiful, I admire your not putting your Mom through the ordeal of air travel if that is her stated preference, and/or if you have determined that the travel would be too much for her physically. Some caregivers force the issue of air travel, I think sometimes, to make the caregiver, not the person who is being cared for, feel better. Good for you for respecting your Mom's wishes!

Many cities and towns offer adult day care programs, sometimes known as senior activity centers. If you are unable to readily find one, your local sheriff's office and/or your state's attorney general's consumer protection division will be able to steer you in the right direction. The attorney generals' consumer protection offices in each state are on the Internet. A Google search is as easy as "Maryland Attorney General Office," for example.

With senior daycare, however, I don't believe there are overnight options. They literally are day-long programs, not equipped for overnight stays. Any organization such as Visiting Angels, if available in your area are able to provide in-home respite care. Enjoy your travel respite and hope you find reliable respite care for your Mom. If your Mom's health is otherwise ok, is there a trusted friend in your life, who may want to house-sit for you, doing double duty as Mom-minder, or a relative who does not live close by who may want to get away, house-sit and not mind Mom-watching? The latter two would be my own preferences, as the thought of strangers providing respite care in-home sans supervision is not my ideal caregiving backup plan; not a comforting thought, for me only. Others use in-home respite programs successfully.

Thank you so much. I live in Los Angeles, California. If anyone has any ideas for that area, I would greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Some areas have temporary care for elders in private homes. Your local Social Services may have a list of these homes or of nursing homes that will care for an elder short-term. I hope you find something. You are good hearted, but you deserve to travel as a family if you can.

Carol

you can check Leeza's Place if you are in an urban area..

Hello:

My mother lives with me and my family. She is 77 years old and is afraid of traveling by plane. When we travel, it is convenient for us to travel by plane. She refuses to go. So far, my daughter has had to stay with her while my husband and I travel. We rotate the responsibility to accommodate her. However, we also like to travel as a family. Mom will not get on a plane and I will not put her through that.

Where would be a safe place such a daycare for her? Any ideas from someone who has experienced similar situation. Please post your responses.

Great ideas, Linda. Thanks!
Carol

Carol is right, also did you look into your hospital to see what groups they have? I called the local hospice and they gave me so much information. Still, this group is my favorite respite. Hang in there
Linda

Isolation is a key issue for caregivers, which is why online support is so valuable. Have you checked with your local Alzheimer's Association? They often have groups. Otherwise, check with a social services group in your area. Also, check you local newspaper for support groups. If there truly isn't anything, see if a local faith-based group would start one. There are many, like you, who need support.

Take care,
Carol