Caregivers need my help with transfers. Has anyone else had this problem?

Ask Hospice to provide a Hoyer lift so that transfers can be done safely for everyone involved.
I am surprised that one has not been provided

My sister used disposable chux in her bed. She hated it but, she couldn't move or her spine would spontaneously break. 6 broken vertebrae before she became bedridden.

This would be an option for the caregivers when you aren't there. It is a process that is actually pretty easy. Mom says she needs to go, aid places the disposable chux, mom goes and aid cleans up.

We usually put a couple under my sister, just in case it was getting messy, we could pull the full chux out, roll-up, dispose and my sister didn't get feces on her.

You have to take care of you and hopefully, mom can understand this.

You don't have to be there all the time. Between Hospice and the agency you should be able to work this out. If ur Moms 96 you are at least in your 60s. You should not be lifting dead weight. That is what the aides are trained to do. That is what Mom is paying for. Maybe she will need to start using a catheter or that purewick system.

There were times when Mom was in the hospital the Nurses though because I was there that I would do. They were mistaken, that was not my job nor was I comfortable in doing what they thought I would/could/should.

I think I would look into a different agency. That’s what you’re paying them to do is take care of your mother’s immediate needs that a nursing home can’t.

My SO has encountered this. He says “you guys need more help.”

He can’t be there multiple times every day that the parents need to or want to transfer, so being asked is concerning. You might need sit to stands or a hoyer lift with aides specifically trained on how to manage those.

I don't work for this company and I am not being paid to endorse their product, but several of my clients are using an external catheter system that allows a female to stay in bed more comfortably and even sleep through the night. Their website is https://www.purewickathome.com/

Talk to the hospice company. Either mom needs to use a bedpan or might need a rental "lift" so 1 person can lift her alone onto and off the commode. Either way purchase or rent what is needed so you can have days off. Hospice company will have contacts with local companies for the items needed.

rosadelima: This is the 24 hour caregivers' jobs and not your's.

Wow! Your situation mirrors mine. My husband needs two people to move him to the commode. One person cannot do it. Too dangerous. So, I help the caregiver whenever I work from home. On days I work in the office, I hire a second person.

Note that the alternative option for you would be worse: if the caregiver quits, you are stuck doing everything by yourself.

My 94 yo mother has bone on bone knees. As the years have progressed her mobility decreased. With each activity that she couldn’t do anymore we had been able to make accommodations that allowed her to stay in her home, without any help.
Last year at this time she was able to transfer from wheelchair to commode to bed and back again without any assistance. But, in July she had a week in the hospital due to heart related issues. That was the final straw. Her knees/ligaments/muscles said, “that’s it old girl”. The rehab facility/hospice sent her home with a Sit to Stand lift. With this lift a type of vest is snapped on at the waist then hooked to the lift arms, the patient holds on to the arms, puts their feet on the foot base, and rests their knees against the knee pads. The lift arms are raised to the height that’s needed for the transfer. What a blessing!!
My mom uses a wheelchair to get around in the house, so she only needs a caregiver for an hour in the morning, and an hour in the evening. I should add that at this time she has a hospice aid that comes midday to change her pull-up. Once she no longer has this service I will be looking into the Pure Wick. If the Pure Wick isn’t doable we’ll then need to hire a caregiver for an hour during the day, as well.
There are so many accommodations that can be made, now a days, that allow a person to stay in their home, where they are most comfortable. Hope all goes well for you and your mom.