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My Mom has been living in small residential care home over a year now with Alzheimer’s. Recently higher turnover in caregivers. It is a duplex with 4 residents 1 side and 5 on my Mom's side with 2 caregivers that share duties and go between.


I had seen 1 prior caregiver speaking very stern to a new resident few months ago a few times that would then in turn get my Mom all agitated and then cause further problems with my Mom feeling protective over other resident even though other resident was very disruptive.


I did mention it to owner of facility and she said they have to be very stern sometimes and it is necessary. I do like that caretaker and she would also be very caring and sweet with them most other times.


The 2 new ones there now seem more detached. 1 male resident every time he gets up with walker both women at different times will yell loudly at him to go sit back down. If you fall we can’t pick you up and sit back down. He got up several times within a half hour and would walk 20 feet to kitchen counter and kept asking the same question to lady and she flatly ignored him for 10 minutes straight and then turned around and yelled at him to go sit down and don’t get up again.


My Mom and I sitting in couch watching tv and my Mom got very upset and yelled at lady to leave him alone, then starts telling me the caretakers are all bossy b*tches.


I know they do this for safety, but shouldn’t there be a kinder way to be stern without disrupting all others? Also can’t expect people to sit on a couch 24/7 if they are semi- mobile? Has anyone else seen such stern and seemingly aggressive direction in their caretakers in small home setting? I don’t want to move her from this facility since it is very affordable and only other alternative would be large nursing home, but just doesn’t seem necessary to me to yell at residents so harshly?!?


Maybe owner needs to put some nannycams in there so she can see how things are when no-one is watching?


My Mom does seem happy for the most part so maybe I am over-reacting...The disruptive resident that moved in a few months ago has settled down somewhat but she does bring up to my mom a lot about how she hates the 2 new male residents, but she complains about everything and is a general negative Nelly, but at least she has a private room so she goes back in there often...

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Light bulb just lit and I have to share.  Often times nursing homes lack an adequate number of caretakers and this can lead to "burn-out" - yes - even they can be over-worked and show signs of burn-out.  You said you like one of the ladies and she's usually sweet.  Maybe that's what is happening.  Management shouldn't let this happen......
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Any one with even limited knowledge of alzheimers/dementia knows that aggressive (stern) behavior towards a patient only serves to make matters worse and can be very disruptive and agitating to other patients.  I would be very concerned about this kind of behavior and no, you are not over-reacting.  I doubt these "caregivers" have had any formal training, and frankly, I wouldn't want them caring for my loved ones.  I have witnessed what gentle, compassionate care can accomplish and it is truly a beautiful and humbling thing to see. 

As long as your Mother is content and well cared for, that's a blessing - but keep a close eye on her.  If I found someone treating my LO that way, we would have a problem.  Blessings and hugs to you.  💜
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Instructed to yell at a paying customer? WTH?

Can you video record the yelling and have a meeting with the obudsman?

I would be terribly tempted to treat these aids the same way, don't like it ladies, ya think others do?

There is never an acceptable reason to treat seniors without dignity and respect.

These smaller places are very money motivated, I wouldn't be surprised if these aids were being paid under the table. I saw it in my dads small ALF.

Sickening that unqualified individuals are caring for vulnerable people.
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My opinion, these aides have not been trained to care for the elderly. I would question if they are even Certified Nurses Aides. You can be firm without being nasty. Kudos to Mom. Personally, I wouldn't want a male caring for me. I had to ask that Mom have female nurses in the hospital. She got upset when a male tried to undress her.
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Annie48 Nov 1, 2018
Thanks JoAnn,
Caretakers are all women. The 2 men are new residents that share 1 of the 3 rooms on my moms side. I did buy an extra chair for my Mom to sit in since the 2 men moved in they sit on couch in front of tv and my mom is little uncomfortable to sit between them. Other lazy boy chair other disabled female always sits in and 5th resident is in her wheelchair. Didn’t want my mom having to watch tv from the dining room table...
I think Lately crowding more people in here together and some have more needs than really should be in ALF. Also with 1 aid to watch 5 people, and aides don’t seem to know how to deal with Alzheimer’s in a compassionate way when they are confused other to yell at them which makes them worse and distressed. I haves voiced this to owner and she says that is how they are instructed?! Maybe they need to watch some Teepa Snow videos 😬😬
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