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No matter how much I say or the devastation it causes. Most caregivers don't seem to treat this as a real job. They ack like it's ok to be late, or worse, not show up at all. They always have some big emergency, but I know they're lying most of the time. They know I can't check up on them, and the State doesn't, so they lie. They couldn't get away with this if they worked at McDonalds, or other places. I try to explain how devastating it can be when they don't show up, and they completely agree and swear they would never do such a thing. But, it isn't long until they do it again. They just make up more elaberate lies. I have been struggling with this for many years, and have gone through probably close to 100 caregivers. How can I get around this. I'm constantly training someone new, and it takes everything out of me to train someone. But I'm having to do it 3 times this month, for example. I cannot keep this up. What can I do to make this stop.

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Mallory: My late Mother dolled out fudge from age 15 to 94. The funny part is when she was 15 in like the early 1930's she and her sister rode in a police car with a man who had been arrested for pedophilia and they made the perp ride in the same cruiser.
She made fudge for the policemen!
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Christmas fudge!! Oh you are making me so hungry for chocolates! !
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Vstefans: You know what, my mom was the same way. She dolled out Christmas fudge that she made from scratch from age 15 to 94! She never missed a year or a person to give it to! You've just brought a smile to my face so Thank You!
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I agree with vstefans. I have paid caregivers for my Dad and there are about 10-12 different caregivers during the week, half of which have a regular shift schedule.

I try to meet and greet as many as I can, and usually after some conversation about life in general, I wind up giving the gals a hug and the fellows a hand shake while I leave to head back home. I let the caregivers do what they think is best.... if they have any questions or suggestions they can relay them to me... and Dad is quite pleased with the care he is getting. Knock on wood, the agency hasn't let me down yet without filling a shift.

Each caregiver has his/her own specialty, like couple of the caregivers love to cook so they cook from scratch. Another is great at keeping the house organized and believe me Dad can mess it up real quickly. Another keeps Dad in conversation. Some are mother hens watching over Dad... another is a young fellow who will elbow Dad saying "hey, Pops, that girl is quite attractive" when this young single fellow saw Dad's doctor's nurse :)

As for caregivers who I thought weren't a good match for my Dad, there have been only two so far.
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Llamalover yeah, but... I got my mom a prompt medical apppointment that way at least once - the SW at her facility suggested it, knowing the people involved. I bought chocolates and acted embarrassed and said that my mom always liked to give people things (which was true - we often had to stop HER from trying to give money to aides that would be fired if they ever accepted!) And caregivers are rarely all good or all bad - sure, abusive ones need to be canned, and a few of them are absolute saints. Mostly they are human, like, um,,,US! .
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Vstefans: No, CG's are either good or they're not. Bribing them with goodies is going to make them expect it every time. Just wrong.
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Sure, it's possible you may be too demanding or particular, but yes, you do have a right to timely care and truly professional people try not to let personality conflicts keep them from being professional.

If they are just not really professional, and are never going to be, but you need them anyways and you have no option to change agencies, you could start making really good brownies, cookies, or cupcakes which would basically bribe them to show up early. You'd be amazed what flattery and food can do even if it seems hopelessly transparent to you to be doing it that way.
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Report these deficient caregivers to your State. They should not be working for the State if they are not arriving as promised. You have to go thru the State to get this problem fixed, if they are being paid by the State then only the State can adjust their pay for non-performance of their duties. Also, it is illegal for them to bill for services they have not delivered.
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I interviewed caregivers for my mom and if I hired them, I would have drawn up a contract. As it was, she deceased.
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You "know" they're lying? And how do you know this?

If you've had close to 100 caregivers, I think there must be something about your interaction with them that isn't being shared in your post, and it could be your attitude toward them.

You'll need to provide more information on your situation, your medical issues, and why you need caregivers as your post doesn't address this, just your perception that they're "lying."

There's something very wrong with going through 3 caregivers a month.
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