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I'm in my late 20's and I help care for a relative with MS. I hate it. I feel like so obligated to stay in the city close to her (she lives down the street from me) I have 3 kids (under 5) and I feel like I'm not there for my kids and fiancée because I have to help care for her. I have to move but I don't want to live close to her. There have been times when I was asked to care for her over my kids. I can't work because my youngest has a medical condition which prevents him from going to daycare. I just want to live my life I want my freedom back. I've never been more frustrated and annoyed. She can't rely on CCT bus because they don't always come and her memory is terrible. I barely have room in my car for me and my kids. She can go to the bathroom, bathe, and cook by herself. (Sometimes she forgets to turn the oven or stove off. She has trouble maintaining her balance and walking. Sometimes her legs will just "give out" and she can't move ) I can't be there all the time and my kids need me. I've never wanted to move away more than I do now. I don't have money to send her to Assisted living but she needs help. Her other caretaker is her sister and she is probably burnt out too. She helps pay for her medicine and takes her out to do her errands but she's planned multiple vacations this year. I have no idea what to do, who to call. Are there any alternatives? I don't feel like I can keep doing this I'm exhausted and I want to be there for my kids.

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Yes, there are Caregivers for people with no income, it's called Medicaid, but Medicaid would only send over someone for a few hours during the day. It is less expensive for Medicaid to place a person into a nursing home and with your relative having physical issues and memory issues. It's worth looking into.

Call your relative's sister who has been caring for her and have a meeting to decide that this relative needs another layer of care, something that neither of you could do.

The relative might love being in a continuing care facility around people of her own generation [depending on her age], new friends to bond with, people to eat dinner with, activities.
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