I have always been focused and goal driven. As my partner’s Parkinson’s symptoms worsen he has become prone to talking to me from across the house, but disease has caused him to speak softly and slurred. I hear just enough to know he’s speaking to me, but not what he’s saying. Sometimes I just have to go on like I didn’t hear him, but that’s difficult when you care about someone. So I stop what I am working on to see what he wanted, and by the time I’m finished I have completely forgotten what I was doing. So, I later discover unfinished tasks. I get flustered because that’s just not like me...and it seems like I’m getting that way with everything. I’ll commonly be up until 1 or 2 in the morning doing work and sending emails - clients praise the dedication, but if they only knew. Anyone else having same problem and have found some tricks that help?
Wow, what you said is so true. My mom has been experiencing difficulties for what I surmise is as long ago as when she fell but didn't hurt herself last November so almost close to a year now. The past three days my sister, who lives with Mom as is her caregiver, has called me spur of the moment to come help her deal with Mom. I don't mind doing that, but tonight it was the third time and Mom had fallen but not hurt herself as usual. My daughter with special needs and I had already been over there helping for nine hours earlier, so I was not thrilled with going over there again. But we did. My husband is away on business for his online Ebay coin business, so it is just us going. I don't mind at all, but what bothers me most is when mom decides she cannot assist in getting up or moved around or pretty much anything. My younger sister tolerates all this but today she had to go for more follow up on her skin cancer. Although she has lots of sutures, two regions still have the melanoma in situ so she is a bit worried. I have tried to explain to Mom that she needs to try help us help her, but she remains difficult wanting attention the wrong way like she once explained to my daughter who got that! We stayed there helping Mom get off floor until 1:30 am when I put my foot down and said, both myself and my daughter need to go home to get some sleep so we don't become mental health sleep deprived patients. My sister has allowed mom to live in a wonderland of butt lifts on demand 24/7 and what I would just have to call unreasonable behaviors. I cannot do that and I explained to both of them once again that I don't do Butt lifts and myself and my family must get our sleep to stay functioning humans.
I am so sad my sister has so much on her plate, skin cancer still although she looks like she is in a Halloween costume with face so stitched up although two regions are not even clear of skin cancer. She has more appointments next week and I really cannot agree to being available for all of them and then some.
That may sound very selfish and I did let Mom know tonight again that I cannot go psycho myself as I have my special needs daughter to help as well as her and my husband.
Honestly, I think what Mom did was almost a game to get attention the wrong way much like my special needs daughter tried to pull a couple for years back. It took us a visit to the ER to learn what really was going on and take back control. We all need to help and have certain behavior rules and that is my opinion. If those around me cannot understand and abide by that, I cannot help them PERIOD. On the other hand, if they show any sincere amount of trying to help, I will find a way to make it work. I have done that for almost 28 years here so I am pretty good at it.
Thanks for listening to my rant after my day which seemed like a week. I was so fortunate today to find my keys although I had already just gotten the spare pair. I guess that started my day with a motive for it to be successful. I guess it was a my sister and I did get Mom who had fallen but hurt herself, off the floor. God is good and listens to prayers. I hope He listens to me asking for Mom to understand that she really does need to cooperate now or she will have a big change in her life. I explained what the daily rate for helpers who do hands on stuff like Mom requires. I don't think my sister realized that it was a lot more than what she thought. She is doing that like 24/7 and that needs to stop! She is becoming sick on all of that. I cannot allow myself to become sick even trying to do that and I do think I communicated that tonight although what I said was not liked there.
Now, where are my keys?
HIDE A KEY ON MY CAR.....
HIDE A KEY OUTSIDE HOME...
TAKE PICTURE OF MED LISTS, BILLS WITH ACCOUNT #s, ANY INFO THAT I LEAVE AT HOME BUT MEANT TO BRING, I CAN FIND ON MY PHONE...
Has anyone ever had the experience -- or know someone who has had the experience -- of having a doctor (in my case Kaiser Permanente) turning your "case" over to the county in which you live? Let me warn you not to divulge too much of your anxiety and stress to your doctor. This could warn the dr that you need help (that you might not decide yourself that you need) and that your parent or other loved one for whom you are caring should go to a facility.
Well, this has turned out to be the nightmare of my life. Instead of being recognized for good service and commitment, I had to get a $375 per hour attorney to try to get the county out of my business. Attorney recommended that I hire a "geriatric care manager" who would write a care plan for my 100 year old mother, which would include her staying in my home where she feels safe and is loved. Said $250 per hour (including assistant) care manager came for three meetings to "assess" my mom and talk (chit chat). She is well known in my state and highly regarded. Well this "care manager" never came through with the care plan for which she was hired. And, she has been talking to the case worker for the county (the other side). I am now faced with putting my Mom in a facility or have them move for guardianship -- yes, the same care manager -- and she would put my Mom in a facility (not necessarily of my choosing).
Btw, this has cost me thousands already -- and my Mom a couple of thousand too. Court-ordered theft from two old ladies.
Nightmare.
You make a good point about how much to share with the doctor. The way healthcare is nowadays, everything has to be "documented" and "addressed."
My Mom's wheel on her walker got stuck and because of this she tripped. I had to help her off the floor. No injury. I mentioned it in passing while at her PCP's. Next thing I knew, he had ordered a PT to come to the house for a "safety assessment." "We take falls very seriously." Well, the PT never even checked the walker, but I did and fixed the source of the problem, the wheel. What a waste of resources. What is worse is that now every time we go to her doctor, we have to have a 5 minute discussion about safety and falls.
I will now never share 100% my stress with the doctor. Thanks for the tip. Sorry you are going through what you are. I swear that the whole "system" seems to be set up to make more problems, and the common sense of actually giving the patient and caregiver what they need goes out the window.
Centennial, CO
I USED to be the most organized person I knew. Now I can't look at the piles of mail (probably bills) on my desk. It's overwhelming. It's no wonder since, in addition to be sole caregiver to my 100 year old Mother, I've also been burdened with a legal matter that I can't seem to get out of:
Has anyone ever had the experience -- or know someone who has had the experience -- of having a doctor (in my case Kaiser Permanente) turning your "case" over to the county in which you live? Let me warn you not to divulge too much of your anxiety and stress to your doctor. This could warn the dr that you need help (that you might not decide yourself that you need) and that your parent or other loved one for whom you are caring should go to a facility.
Well, this has turned out to be the nightmare of my life. Instead of being recognized for good service and commitment, I had to get a $375 per hour attorney to try to get the county out of my business. Attorney recommended that I hire a "geriatric care manager" who would write a care plan for my 100 year old mother, which would include her staying in my home where she feels safe and is loved. Said $250 per hour (including assistant) care manager came for three meetings to "assess" my mom and talk (chit chat). She is well known in my state and highly regarded. Well this “care manager" never came through with the care plan for which she was hired. And, she has been talking to the case worker for the county (the other side). I am now faced with putting my Mom in a facility or have them move for guardianship -- yes, the same care manager -- and she would put my Mom in a facility (not necessarily of my choosing).
Btw, this has cost me thousands already -- and my Mom a couple of thousand too. Court-ordered theft from two old ladies.
Nightmare.
P.S. Sorry if I posted this twice. I wasn't sure where to post, I'm new at this!
https://www.livescience.com/17132-forget-walked-room-doorways-blame-study-finds.html
It is interesting how this might impact us!