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The son-in-law told me to find a lawyer and take his mother-in-law to update her will. I did just what he told me to do. What I didn't know until the lawyer sent a draft in the mail, that his mother-in-law changed her will. He no longer had Power of Attorney or anything. Her only child had just die almost 6 months from the time she changed her will. He and her daughter were givien power of attorney. When her daughter died, he continued. He used that power to put his name on an annuity where her daughter was sole beneficiary. When she changed her will and she had a trust done up to, It revoke his powers and she left him nothing. Guess who she put as POA, Executor, Attorney in fact for Health Care, Trustee, and PR? Me her caregiver. All I know is that was between her lawyer and her which was discussed behind closed doors. She asked me not to tell anyone and her son-in-law never even ask her about the lawyer she went to. The only thing he asked me after I asked if he know where the deed to the property was so as to get the legal description, when he asked me if the lawyer asked for any financial papers. My reply was no, because the lawyer didn't. His mother-in-law couldn't understand why he hadn't ask even the lawyer's name. I was a live in care giver in her home for 3 and 1/2 years.

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It would seem to me that you owe your loyalty to the person you are caring for and if she is cognitively able (or was when the attorney changed the will), then it all should be legal. You may want to check again with the attorney, because the son-in-law will likely fight this. If the woman had dementia when the will was changed, then things could be more murky. If she was close to her son-in-law, he may feel emotional about this. If not, it may just be about money. Perhaps all questions should go through the attorney.
Take care,
Carol
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