I am sole caregiver to my father who is vengeful and has no feelings for me. What can I do to get authority on what he can do?

Why do you need to have authority? Does he have dementia? Is he no longer cognizant?

If he is not living with you or in your direct care, then I would say to leave him alone.

You cannot control other people.

I was able to get power of attorney to assist with my mother. We had the same type of relationship when I was growing up, it was't until several years after my father passed away that mom realized that she needed me and that she should change her attitude. We had already identified an attorney and had the document drawn up before approaching her with the idea. We talked about how it was a proactive move in case something happened to her and we needed to be able to make emergency decisions. We wanted to know her wishes and not have to attempt to guess at what she wanted. We were trying to respect her wants and needs. I told that she did not have to use me, but could pick whoever she felt comfortable with. The moment she agreed, we put her in the car and drove straight to the attorney, they brought the documents to the car and had her sign. Good luck! I know it is hard when there are emotional issues involved. Trust me, many days I want to walk away and never look back. I respect her position as being my mother, but doesn't mean I have to respect her or how she treats me. Also, my aunt gave me very sage advice....I can't tell her what to do only what I can and can't do for her. I have had to use this several times lately...mom I can't continue to take you to the doctor if I know you are not following their advice and orders. She usually settles down pretty quick. Take care and ask for help from other family members and even doctors. Tell them you need their support and they will usually back you up.

As long as he is competent, he is the only one who can give you some legal control of him by making you his POA. Otherwise, he will have to face the consequences of his choices.

I'm sure he is showing signs of early dementia or stability in competency.. I live 25 yards from him but I'm at his house the majority of the time..Like I said..he's vingful and bitter.(my mom and I were close and he hated it.)..so there is no way he will give me PoA..And he won't admit to getting senile...I thought about asking his doctor on what can be done.

Why are you at his house?

Leave him to his own devices. He alone gave give POA to someone; getting guardianship through the courts is expensive and onerous. And even if you got guardianship, how would you make him do what you thought best?

You can report what you observe to his doctor, who can call Adult Protective Services; they need to be alerted to the fact that he is a vulnerable adult.

You say you are stuck because of a promise to your mom? Now the fact is that these "promises" are not usually binding because:

They were extorted. A sick parent says "promise me.....etc." but this is emotional blackmail - you are not really free to say "Thanks but no thanks." So, no valid promise.

The circumstances under which the promise was given have become such that it would be wrong to fulfill the promise. For example, from what you describe he is verbally and emotionally abusive. You have no obligation to put up with abuse. NONE. In fact, you would be doing the moral thing to refuse to go along with it - after all you would not want to encourage and abet your dad, or anyone else, to do something morally evil. So with a clear conscience, step back. You have tried to take care of him, but he is refusing to be reasonable and non-abusive. You have fulfilled any obligation you ever had.

Unfortunately you are placing yourself in the situation where he is able to show off to you how much he dislikes you by making decisions he knows you will disagree with. By remaining close by, you are enabling him to show off these choices while you are powerless to stop him. 

Yes, you promised to take care of him but it takes two to make that work. Not only was that an unfair promise to ask a child to make especially when the parent knew the relationship is strained, but your father wants no part of it. Walk away. You can report to the doc that he has driven you away but you are willing to help when he is incapacitated. 

Thanks everyone for the advice...