A caregiver who is also our friend is stealing from us. How do I get over grief of betrayal?


my husband has Alzheimers. We are on a fixed income and it is hard to care for him myself. An older woman in my parish was recommended as a sitter. At first I thought I was going crazy because small things have been missing for a while now - buttons, books, small things. On Sunday I looked for a necklace I loved, it was from my grandmother. The next time I saw her in public she was wearing my grandmother's pearl necklace. - she looked me in the eye ans smile. The pearls are small, but the clasp is a cameo that my husband had put on many yaers ago for our anniversary so it is quite recognizable. I am so angry and hurt. I feel that I have paid her and been her friend and relied on her and now I am left alone caring for my husband and can't get over this sense of betrayal. What do I do? I am torn between calling my minister and calling the police but it doesn't help the pain. HELP!

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How do we know that this 'sitter' hasn't got Alzheimer's or dementia too? Or at least some sort of mental thing going on, besides being a thief. I'd keep that in mind WHEN I talked to the pastor.
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TerriesRoses, I am so sorry for your loss. With Alzheimer's you face loss after loss, and now to lose confidence in someone you trust must be shattering.

I suggest you talk to your minister. I wonder if there is an explanation. For example, did your husband give that necklace to her and insist she take it? Of course no caregiver should accept gifts like that from a client with dementia but perhaps in her mind this wasn't stealing. I'm just trying to reconcile the stealing with how she could face you wearing the stolen item!

Perhaps this is a matter for the police, but first I would go to the minister and ask him or her to intervene and try to get to the bottom of this perplexing behavior.

My heart goes out to you. Please let us know how this works out.
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