The caregiver I just learned sneaks out at night. Should I fire her?

... but she does get "days" off - 2/week.

No.

You hired someone who is unreliable. You now have an unreliable person with a grievance and you're seriously considering leaving your mother alone with her?

Postpone your appointments, get on the phone to a reputable agency and find another caretaker.

You can call an agency and they can have a replacement for you asap.

Her "explanation" was that she "just needed time for herself and it will never happen again." Yeah, right, what about the next time was my response. She took care of my friend's mom, and by chance, I met her at church and was pretty desperate to find a 24/7 caregiver. So, no agency and I'm paying her what I can afford to pay - room & board + $1,500/mo. - and I realize this is a very low rate for round the clock care but we just don't have the $$. We're right on the borderline of having a little too much for Medicare but really not enough to pay someone enough to where I wouldn't have to worry about this kind of thing. I can't even afford to give her 2 full days off/wk. First off, she doesn't have anywhere to go and secondly, the fee for those two full days is more than half of what I pay the caregiver per month and we just don't have enough.

Of course you - both of you are right. Initially, when she first moved in, she "went to the store" with my permission - and was gone for like 2 hours. I told her then, "You get 3 chances. This is #1." I locked her out and she called me at 3AM when she finally got back. I told her to find somewhere else to stay since she was "out all night" anyhow. She kept calling and begged and pleaded and I have a doctor appt. tomorrow and have no one to look after mom. So.... I let her back in and told her, "This is #2. Next one, you're outta here." I'm going to take $50 off her pay and I guess I'll look for someone else. Thing is, I can't leave mom alone at all and have meetings with attorneys, with doctors (I'm not in the best of health either), with bankers and I just don't have the time right now to do a change. But you both are right, and I know I have to fire her. I just can't right at the moment. And no, no keys were given and I will keep a vigilant eye out - Thanks for the heads-up. And for getting back to me so fast. I'm "UP" now, pretty upset about this thing.

First of all, request an explanation. I for one can't WAIT to hear what she's got to say for herself.

Barring an explanation that justifies her leaving the building without informing you, letting alone seeking your permission for her absence, you then put everything in writing and fire her. You also copy whichever agency you got her from.

Document the time and date. Terminate her formally with a letter. Keep a copy for yourself (even if you have to write it twice - one for her and one for you.) Yes, you must fire her. To keep her, and if she sneaks off, and your mother gets hurt, the authorities will ask you if this has ever happened before. If you say yes, they will wonder why you still kept the worker - knowing that she left your elderly parent alone. You can also get in trouble for elderly neglect.

Change the lock and keys..if she was given a key.

deserve it too! Blessings to you and I hope that you are able to do this fast. It is a process, but in the end, it will be so much easier. Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? Anyone that hires me. That obviously is someone that does not or if she does

SORRY SOME MESS UPS IN MY WRITING.

Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS WAS WRITEN THIS WAY. DELETE THE "Who is They?"

Trust is the (or one of the first issue(s) that people look at when in the first 90 days of working). I am a caregiver and anyone whom hires me, will know within the first month, that without a shadow of doubt, I am loving, caring, compassionate, look at the client as if they were in my own family, and always follow the rules. Of course this sounds very simple. But, I have seen the best of best caregivers, and the poor. It is a job, that some families do not want to or cannot pay the money out to, and that saddens me, but I know there are very good caregivers in every region.


I AM really sorry, for the wording.

I will be the first one.

Fire her.

That is Abandonment, and if she is an employee you have more that you need for recourse.

Do not look back, she will not change. She obviously put her boundary way out there, and was out to see how much you will tolerate. This means you tolerate ZERO.

NOW, the reality is that you have to spend all the precious time to find someone whom is worth it. Your mom deserves it, and obviously since you wrote in, you sound like a loving woman that does care for her. You deserve it too! Blessings to you and I hope that you are able to do this fast. It is a process, but in the end, it will be so much easier. Trust is the first issue, as a caregiver I know that they look at. Who is They? Anyone that hires me. That obviously is someone that does not or if she does has issues, but has few if any regards for working, and other peoples money, and more importantly, "the million what if's, and I am just glad you wrote in.

THE BEST TO YOU. She does not need two weeks notice. Since she lives there.

Type if you can a written letter.

Effective immediately July 25, 2014, your position as caregiver is being terminated.
In ____________ State, it is an Employment at Will.

Please see that your items and everything is removed from my mother's residence by 5:00pm tonight, Friday July 25, 2014.

Thank you.

Mary Jones

PS: What I would be very careful of, since she has pulled this terribly gross stunt so early on in the relationship, I would not leave the premises where your mother is, until she is packed and gone. I would NO WAY, LEAVE HER THERE ALONE. I would also immediately before I give this notice, look around for items missing, rings.
I find it hard to believe that someone that would pull this ABANDONMENT SO SOON in a caregiving relationship, HONESTLY, I PUT ANYONE LIKE THIS ALONG WITH THE THEFT OF THINGS, PROPERTY DESTRUCTION, ETC.

I am in NO WAY TRYING TO SCARE YOU. POSSIBLY THERE WAS A REASON I WAS UP TONIGHT, BUT SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE N O W. REALLY, I WOULD WORRY, AND YOU COULD HAVE AN ISSUE with "the vulnerable adult" being left alone, and you know about it once and did not take measures to rectify it.

All the best, and sorry to be or sound so aggressive, I really care, and you do too!!!