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Just want to say, I too am like you. Mom only woke up once during the night but by the time I had to go down to her room, show her is was dark outside, then tuck her in, I was wide awake. When she was in the AL I had a aide call me at 6am to tell me Mom fell out of bed. Never got back to sleep. My problem is I can't take sleep aides. Even the ones that claim you won't have morning drowsiness I do feel "out of it" when I wake up. Never tried Melatonin. I had Mom for 20months and ended up placing her in an AL. Was lots better for her and I got a decent nights sleep.
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I am taking a high quality melatonin and it works quickly. I am on high alert too and had trouble getting back to sleep. I have been taking it off and on for about two months. I also use a black eye shield. The best sleep ever now.

NATROL Melatonin 5mg Extra Strength strawberry flavor
Bought at Costco's
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Generally when we cannot get back to sleep having been woken that way it is because our brains become too active and we cannot turn off our thoughts and worries - not nice and very wearing and anxiety causing.

In the days of cassette players - I guess we all remember those on here although younger people don't -one could get a tape of being talked through relaxation. I know that in the UK we can get the same on CD (almost as hard to play as a tape these days but personal players with headphones are still around). There is a man Paul McKenna who has made a series of CDs - I don't know if they are available in USA, but they probably are on ebay uk if not USA. Playing something quietly that you have to concentrate on to "force" relaxation, can be very effective - I have used it for panic attacks - and in time one becomes able to achieve the end result without the "tape". Not an instant solution but very helpful and building to a long term effect which can be life changing. If you can find such a thing then give it a go. Good luck.
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Carolann2244 Apr 2021
Thank you! I’ll look into it!
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I hear you Carolann
Without enough sleep, I am a zombie.
It’s good that your dad is normally able to sleep through the night and that this week was unusual.
I have two ideas. Increase the Magnesium in your diet. Here is an interesting article and you can find many suggesting magnesium is important for sleep, even depression and anxiety.

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/magnesium-and-sleep

My second thought is that you need a plan for backup. No matter how good a sleep aid is, you have to be able to spend some time in bed. After one sleepless night, you need to find someone to come in and manage things so that you can get sleep. Your reserves are depleted.
And since dad is normally sleeping during the night, I’ll assume he’s needing attention during the day.
See if you can find a friend, relative or agency who can come in for those second nights to allow you to refresh.
Last year a cousin with Covid was taking care of both elderly parents with Covid and two other family members. She needed sleep. She couldn’t get anyone to come into “Covid house”. She asked her sister to monitor her dad on the cameras so she could get sleep. She did this for a few nights and it allowed her the ability to feel things were ok enough for her to sleep awhile. At its worse her dad had to be taken to the hospital twice where he was kept for several days each time, which allowed her to sleep. Not wishing your dad to need to be taken to the hospital but for the long haul you need backup.
Respite care for your dad might also be an idea. How long has it been since you have had a few days away from caregiving?
I hope you sleep well tonight and awake refreshed.
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Carolann2244 Apr 2021
Thank you! He was in the hospital from Thanksgiving day till January 4, so not that long, this stretch. And normally this is very occasional, this is just a bad week, and I have the stoma nurse scheduled for next week. I think the overall problem is a fit issue with him losing 60 lbs rapidly.

I will try the magnesium, definitely. I can’t get an agency to come out for respite care because he can’t handle his colostomy independently, so even if I hired someone for one overnight so I could sleep in peace, they would still wake me if he had a colostomy issue. That’s been a little frustrating and something I didn’t understand when I took on this task! If I as an untrained caregiver can change his colostomy, I don’t understand why trained aides can’t, but I guess I don’t make the rules. Oh well, hopefully tonight will be better!
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