I still do not have an answer. My sister owns the house, built on an addition and that is where my parents live. There are many, many childhood issues. My parents want to SEE me in the square footage they reside in my sisters house. Is it elder abuse to keep me from visiting in the pie square footage? They are 86 and 81 and unable to get out
Vickey, your parents must tell your sister that they wish to see you; and they must make arrangements for you to visit. Once they have done that, if your sister still refuses you admittance to your parents' living quarters - can they be reached without entering your sister's house, by the way? It would help if they can - then your parents can take formal legal steps to force the issue. But the point is that it's your parents who have to take the initiative, here; and I suspect that's where the problem lies, is it?
Yeah uh huh. Well, call me jaded, but It would be nice to hear the other side of this. I'm taking care of my 84 year old parents. Mom has dementia and had cancer last year. Dad is still getting around okay but needs a lot of help around the house. My wife and I moved in with our 3 children a few years back. My parents wanted to stay in the large home they loved and I wanted to go back to school to be a nurse. We agreed that we would live there and help them with their daily living stuff while I went to school. I do most of the care and I have a female CNA coming by 3x a week to shower mom and help her with her female stuff. My wife is a pharmacy tech. I'm a CNA and starting an RN program this fall. I have 3 siblings who all live 5-800 miles away. The one brother is a belligerent, unmanageable alcoholic who acts out and steals stuff when he comes to visit. Then there's 2 sisters. One is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic on SSI who believes Mom and Dad are holding out some huge fortune and that secret agent guys are following her around in black trucks. The other sister is pretty well off. She's a nurse and makes a really nice living. However, she's also a sociopath drama queen who will outright lie through her teeth to make whoever she doesn't like at the moment look bad and herself look good. She's also good for doing cool stuff like getting in your face and blocking doorways with her body so you can't leave the room and blocking driveways with her car so you can't leave. In my teens and early 20's, we had some ugly family blow outs with each other , but around 2010 or so, I thought we buried the hatchet and got past all that crap. Guess not. A little less than 2 years ago, her and her adult daughter came here for a visit and while my wife and I were at work, tried to pull some sort of intervention with mom and dad to "save" them from us. They said we were destroying their house and they should just get rid of their house and find a smaller place that we won't try and "squat" in. She never really articulated a clear plan on what to do with them after getting rid of us since they do require in home care, but hey, if she got us out of here, that would be a win for her and that's all that counts. When I found out about this I was shocked, then sad, then really pi*ssed off, then just flat out done with her 2 faced, vindictive, backstabbing self. I sat down with my parents and stated that I wanted to continue to stay there and take care of them(they're taking care of me to btw. This is a very nice, large house for my family to live in), but it is unreasonable to expect that my family w/young children should have to be subjected to having people come in from out of town just about every holiday season bringing drama and crapping on us for being here. We reached an agreement where as long as Dad could safely drive and mom was ambulatory, the sister could just grab a vacation rental and they could go visit with her there. If one of them were to become immobile, then other arrangements could be made when necessary, but for now, she can just keep her drama out of this house. We also went to a lawyer and had a Will, POA, Med-POA and caretaker agreement drawn up.
If my sister really wanted to move closer to take care of mom and dad she could easily get a $60-85K a year job at the local hospital or even a $96K a year job at the prison. She's been single for decades and her daughter is over 30 years old. She's obviously not willing to do that. She is however, more than willing to come up here multiple times a year and talk crap. She has already lied to family and friends about me engaging in abuse/neglect. Oddly enough, she has never bothered to call DHS and have a social worker come out to do a welfare check or home assessment(I've suggested that they do so and we've already had multiple assessments done by the home health nurses who were treating my mom. Everything here checks out fine ). My father has financial problems, I've gotten him to go see an accountant to handle his money stuff. I also wanted to have some outside party providing some oversight to cover my butt in case one of my siblings accuses me of financial exploitation.
Last year around christmas, my sister barged into the house, against my father's directions to "just pick up some wine she had shipped here". Before doing so she told her daughter "he's not keeping me out of there". I told her to immediately leave, she then immediately lied and said "dad gave me permission to be here and you're not the boss of anything". I said "Leave now. I am calling the police". She kept on going off about how much of an A-hole I was until I picked up the phone and dialed 911, then she finally left. A police report was made and she hasn't come in here since. Neither one of us can afford to get in any legal trouble. To do so could very easily either ruin her current or my upcoming nursing career.
I'm sure there are plenty of cases out there of loser, alcoholic, drug addict adult children totally screwing over their aging parents and isolating them from other family members so that they can get away with it, but I bet for every legitimate case of that, there are multiple cases of self serving dysfunctional family members trying to push a false narrative.
my mom in the nursing home and im not her power attorney and they call me all the time the nursing home does I have one sisiter and brother my sisiter goes maybe once
I'm taking care of my 84 year old parents. Mom has dementia and had cancer last year. Dad is still getting around okay but needs a lot of help around the house. My wife and I moved in with our 3 children a few years back. My parents wanted to stay in the large home they loved and I wanted to go back to school to be a nurse. We agreed that we would live there and help them with their daily living stuff while I went to school. I do most of the care and I have a female CNA coming by 3x a week to shower mom and help her with her female stuff.
My wife is a pharmacy tech. I'm a CNA and starting an RN program this fall.
I have 3 siblings who all live 5-800 miles away. The one brother is a belligerent, unmanageable alcoholic who acts out and steals stuff when he comes to visit. Then there's 2 sisters. One is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic on SSI who believes Mom and Dad are holding out some huge fortune and that secret agent guys are following her around in black trucks. The other sister is pretty well off. She's a nurse and makes a really nice living. However, she's also a sociopath drama queen who will outright lie through her teeth to make whoever she doesn't like at the moment look bad and herself look good. She's also good for doing cool stuff like getting in your face and blocking doorways with her body so you can't leave the room and blocking driveways with her car so you can't leave. In my teens and early 20's, we had some ugly family blow outs with each other , but around 2010 or so, I thought we buried the hatchet and got past all that crap. Guess not.
A little less than 2 years ago, her and her adult daughter came here for a visit and while my wife and I were at work, tried to pull some sort of intervention with mom and dad to "save" them from us. They said we were destroying their house and they should just get rid of their house and find a smaller place that we won't try and "squat" in. She never really articulated a clear plan on what to do with them after getting rid of us since they do require in home care, but hey, if she got us out of here, that would be a win for her and that's all that counts. When I found out about this I was shocked, then sad, then really pi*ssed off, then just flat out done with her 2 faced, vindictive, backstabbing self. I sat down with my parents and stated that I wanted to continue to stay there and take care of them(they're taking care of me to btw. This is a very nice, large house for my family to live in), but it is unreasonable to expect that my family w/young children should have to be subjected to having people come in from out of town just about every holiday season bringing drama and crapping on us for being here. We reached an agreement where as long as Dad could safely drive and mom was ambulatory, the sister could just grab a vacation rental and they could go visit with her there. If one of them were to become immobile, then other arrangements could be made when necessary, but for now, she can just keep her drama out of this house. We also went to a lawyer and had a Will, POA, Med-POA and caretaker agreement drawn up.
If my sister really wanted to move closer to take care of mom and dad she could easily get a $60-85K a year job at the local hospital or even a $96K a year job at the prison. She's been single for decades and her daughter is over 30 years old. She's obviously not willing to do that. She is however, more than willing to come up here multiple times a year and talk crap. She has already lied to family and friends about me engaging in abuse/neglect. Oddly enough, she has never bothered to call DHS and have a social worker come out to do a welfare check or home assessment(I've suggested that they do so and we've already had multiple assessments done by the home health nurses who were treating my mom. Everything here checks out fine ).
My father has financial problems, I've gotten him to go see an accountant to handle his money stuff. I also wanted to have some outside party providing some oversight to cover my butt in case one of my siblings accuses me of financial exploitation.
Last year around christmas, my sister barged into the house, against my father's directions to "just pick up some wine she had shipped here". Before doing so she told her daughter "he's not keeping me out of there".
I told her to immediately leave, she then immediately lied and said "dad gave me permission to be here and you're not the boss of anything". I said "Leave now. I am calling the police". She kept on going off about how much of an A-hole I was until I picked up the phone and dialed 911, then she finally left. A police report was made and she hasn't come in here since. Neither one of us can afford to get in any legal trouble. To do so could very easily either ruin her current or my upcoming nursing career.
I'm sure there are plenty of cases out there of loser, alcoholic, drug addict adult children totally screwing over their aging parents and isolating them from other family members so that they can get away with it, but I bet for every legitimate case of that, there are multiple cases of self serving dysfunctional family members trying to push a false narrative.