Willow, THANK YOU! You have most likely saved a life. My beloved youngest sister was killed by a woman driver who should have never been on the road. I only wish someone in her family had done something before it happened.
Willow, you DID the absolutely right thing. Your family needs a reality check, not you. We were fortunate. My mom, with Alzheimer's stopped driving on her own at 65. She said she didn't have the reflexes fast enough to drive safely anymore. She wasn't DX'd with AD until she was 72. I think she knew she was having more problems than she'd admit to. Good for you, Willow!!!!!!!!!
Is Dad living with you? Not only would I not be able to sleep at night knowing MIL was on the streets putting everyone at danger, I would not want to take on the liability. If something were to happen and she is living with us, it seems likely someone would come after us for not doing anything to prevent her from driving. Would it stand up in court, I don't know. But the legal fees alone would be a nightmare. Don't feel bad, you are doing a service to society. Your siblings are just mad because they either don't want to drive dad or they don't want to hear him bitch about it.
No reasonable person would hold you responsible for the doctor's decision that your mother should not drive.
But that is not really what this about, is it? It sounds like the relationships in this family are not "reasonable." I am very sorry that in addition to an impaired mother you are dealing with a dysfunctional family.
I hope you will get some counselling to help you through the difficult holiday period and beyond. This is not your fault; it may not be within your power to fix.
Are your family members more worried about having to drive dad now than his safety? If he had a terrible accident and killed someone, I bet they would sing a different tune. You did the right thing. Good for you.
Willow - trust me I am there on this one as well. Think of it this way regardless what anyone else thinks. You are protecting not only your mother if she is unable to drive anymore but the other motorists on the road. I was livid when my father drove a few months ago and worried sick until he returned. Then I said to my brother and the nurses no more driving. My father is too weak and he will not exit this home in his van with me around. I know it is hard for someone to give up the driving no matter how good they say they drive! I worked for traffic court for 23 years I know about this much. Why would the family be shunning you for doing a responsible thing. Furthermore the doctors also know when a patient should NOT be driving anymore. They are the ones that ultimately make that decision. I think you did the absolute correct thing here.
But that is not really what this about, is it? It sounds like the relationships in this family are not "reasonable." I am very sorry that in addition to an impaired mother you are dealing with a dysfunctional family.
I hope you will get some counselling to help you through the difficult holiday period and beyond. This is not your fault; it may not be within your power to fix.