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My mother has been having issue with her health since 2006 (Age 62) and only within the last 3 to 4 years has she been more dependent on me. Though recently she has been more stubborn and moody then I ever seen her. She recently had issues sleeping and was up for around 30+ hours and I did what I could to get her to sleep. Finally it seemed the exhaustion with some sleep medicine she has from her doctor finally kicked in.


After sleeping for 12 hours I went down and she if she needed anything, but she was on an emotional roller-coaster, from breaking down and crying to getting angry and frustrated when I tried talking to her. I got my dad involved since I wasn't having any luck getting through to her. Checking on her today, she seems like all she wants to do is rant on and on and when I try to speak she cuts me off.


If I do manage to get a word in she get angry, but I'm not doing anything that would warrant this anger. Every since the last 48 hours with the lack of sleep the person who I'm speaking to doesn't seem like the same person from a week ago. Sure she was frustrated, but not to the point of blowing up over every little thing. I'm really worried about her mental health and asked her about maybe being checked.


She said over and over again she was fine, but knowing how she normally acts this isn't her usual self. I'm not sure if this is just depression with the lack of sleep talking in her place or something more serious. I have messaged her doctor(still waiting on a reply), but I feel like I just walked into a losing battle. Before all this it seemed like there some hope, but now she's just refusing to listen reason.


I told her I need a break for a bit, a few days to recharge and I was going to have my dad take over for a bit. This did not go over well and she basically panic and got angry. Telling me she's fine and all she needs to do is calm down. I told her, "That's not the point, I'm burnt out and just need to get some decent rest at night without being interrupted 3-4 time through the night (Wireless call button).


So her current behavior is depression, frustration, quick to snap at people, and not listening to people. Also her hand is shaking, but that could be from nerves of being depressed and stress, lack of sleep or something else. It just seem so sudden to go from nice and caring(if a bit demanding at times) to someone who doesn't know if they want people near them or push them away.


I really like her to go in and be checked, but if she refuses there's really not much I can do. So any advice from people who may have dealt with a difficult mother would be great. I'm just a wits end and really can't do this anymore. Also I'm not sure if my dad can fully take over the responsibilities since she can't stand too well and can't walk. She needs to be wheeled to the bathroom in a transport chair and my dad can barely move her, let alone lift.


I really think at this point she needs assisted living and have a third party help out with some of these problems. Though I did bring this up to her and lets just say she's not fond of that idea.

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She has been checked for UTI multiple times and it all came back negative. I had home care come by today and she asked her some basic question. The nurse told us, "She able to reply and refuse treatment with understanding. So unless she becomes completely unreasonable and unable to make rational decision there's not much more you can do at this point." We talked for a bit and she going to get me in touch with a social worker to give us information to hire a caregiver.

If I have someone else helping her maybe 2-3 times a week it'll give me sometime to gather myself. I was also told to, "If she become to agitated and you not getting through give her some space. Let her calm down and try different ways to convinces her." I know it's important to get her in as soon as possible, but it doesn't do either of us any good if we start going at it. So I'm going to take little steps at a time.

I've already got my sister and her grand-daughter informed. They're both going to try stopping by in a day to also talk to her. This week has just been rough with this happening and my dad ending up being sick(with fever) and he's been limited on able to help. The nurse reassured me I'm doing everything on my end and I should feel guilty about not being able to help her. Just keep trying my best and take it a day at a time.

As for a stroke, it's crossed our minds as a possibility, but if she did have one it really doesn't fully show. She's not showing any real signs of being able to move her arms or leg, though I'm not ruling it out. I'm going to work with the option I currently have and hope that we can get her to change her mind. I don't want to force her, not unless we all agree she's at a point that it's necessary.
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Definitely get her medical attention by hook or by crook. If I had a sudden change in personality, I sure would want my loved ones to do whatever they had to to get me seen by a doctor, even if I kicked up a fuss about it. As they say for stroke, "time is brain".
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I could be wrong, but isn’t “sudden personality change” a symptom of stroke?? You should also consider UTI.
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Wristan, have your Mom checked for an urinary tract infection. Such an infection can cause many different symptoms with elders from being angry, to being downright violent. The test can be done at her primary doctor office or at an urgent care walk-in office.
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Dear Wristan,

I am sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I know you are only try to help your mom and get her the help she deserves. She does need to be evaluated by a doctor.

My father was acting out and I didn't put everything together. But he had diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and dementia. This all affected his moods and behaviour.

I'm not sure if you can get a doctor, nurse, therapist or social worker to the house to talk with her. Maybe if a third party told her this information she would be more receptive.

I hope you can find the right care for your mom and dad.

Thinking of you.
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