I am a caregiver/power of attorney for my elderly mother (81) yrs old. She lives in my home. She has acquired a so called "friend" whom I distrust financially. What rights as a caregiver do I have as to limiting this woman from my mother unless I am able to be home with her if this "friend" comes around. I don't want to hurt my mother of losing a "friend"

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Time to get creative. You can tell your mother that you want to ensure any friends who visit would have the benefit of true social visiting, so you want to be there to offer coffee, lemonade, cookies, etc.

If this friend goes into the bathroom and you hear anything other than normal bathroom sounds, such as the sound of a drawer being opened, be near the bathroom when she comes out and casually remark that you heard a drawer being opened, and you wonder if she needs something like Kleenex, or something more personal.

Watch her expression and see if she's surprised you caught her. This kind of poking around in someone's bathroom isn't acceptable behavior.

But more to the point, on what basis do you suspect or distrust her financially? Were there other incidents?

And how did they meet, by the way?

I would also take anything related to your mother's finances and secure them somewhere, in a locked portable safe which you can put in your closet, or upstairs or downstairs...somewhere where the friend wouldn't visit.

Sometimes, if you can get gutsy (like I can when I'm provoked), you can have a conversation with the friend about the need to be careful and vigilant of elders who may make friends, unaware that the "friends" are actually after the elder's money.

If she is up to no good, putting her on the spot would be a strong yet somewhat diplomatic method of letting her know you've got your eyes on her. If you have such a talk, sit where your mother can't see your facial expressions so you can adopt a very firm demeanor when you let this woman know that you'll be watching her.

Or make arrangements to meet her at a restaurant and take your mother there, so there's less chance for her to snoop around in the home.
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Got your message. Is this friend male or female? What's the backstory? How is your Moms judgement these days?
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If mom is mentally competent and still handles her financial affairs you can't do much legally unless she cooperates in giving you control. The POA is intended to let you act on her behalf when she can no longer do so and this is sometimes a very subjective issue.

My Dad has dementia and I've slowly taken over the bills and finances the last year or so. He doesn't realize this and I had to be pretty crafty about it but he was making a huge mess and was totally vulnerable to phone scammers.

One way or the other I think you need to secure moms money, checkbook, credit cards etc. Inform the banks to be on the lookout for any odd withdrawals. Maybe have a private talk with this "friend" and let them know you are watching things closely.
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