My mother passed away recently and we are working through the estate. I am the primary executor (in state) with my brother (out of the country) and then there is my sister. She gets one third of the work I do (the money), but she has been unbearably nasty to me. Irrational comments, yelling, unhappiness, unkindness. I don't know where it's coming from. She is getting MOST of Mom's belongings. She has almost no work to do, and yet she snaps. She seems happy with her community, with her marriage and she has a good job (which she complains about constantly).
I keep telling myself that she must be struggling with something and I should NOT take it personally, but I can't help being hurt. I try to step away from her anger, but even when I try to walk away she snaps at me and insults me. She has gone home, but the hurt lingers for days. I just want to stop thinking about it and stay away from her, but I will have to interact with her again. I do NOT want to talk with her about it because it is just too overwhelmingly stressful, on top of all the other things I need to deal with here relating to the estate.
I tried to ask both my brother and sister what to do with Mom's ashes. Their response is that it's up to me to do it. I'm OK with my brother's position on this, because he didn't insult me repeatedly while he told me he would leave it up to me. On the other hand, my sister just insulted me and attacked me during her last visit, while she didn't offer to join me in sprinkling the ashes. Now it's the last thing I'd want to do with her!
Any advice on how not to take irrational attacks personally will be very much appreciated. Thanks all!!