My sister hired a caregiver for mom 3 x week, for 2 hours each time. She only talks about herself. I have no say so. Advice?

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2 hours each time. She has been here 4 times. The first time she came she non stopped talked about herself. She told us that she had a nervous breakdown , told us what meds she was on, and just went on and on and on. The second time my sister told me to go to my room, I am not to really have anything to do with this woman. My sister wants total control. Anyway, the second time, she nonstopped talked again. I asked her what she was supposed do when she was here and she said, play cards, watch movies and keep mom entertained. I put a deck of cards on the table and she did try to play rummy but mom had forgotten how to play. I asked her about scrabble and she said that she was not good with words and I said even 3 letter ones? I put scrabble on the table and she did not even try so I gave them a movie and they watched that. Mom was laughing so that was good. If I sit at the table the woman will talk to me only. So I asked about making meals and she said that she could make a meal. I asked her if she had any good recipes to share and she said well I do not cook. I am like wtf. She said that she does not cook for herself but knows how to cook but I have to tell her what to make, which would be the same stuff I always cook. Borrring. So I guess what I am asking does this woman sound like she is helping mom or just sitting on her butt talking about herself. I am not allowed to really get involved. I told my sister about the first time and that is when she told me to go to my room. I don't know what to do. She won't clean which I don't want her to so I guess I should go out when she is here to get some time away but I am still concerned. Thank you for any advice.

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Go to your room. Go out. Schedule your own appointments for the time the helper is there. That is what she is there for.

You are wrong that your sister has control. It is your house and you have control over who is allowed to be in it. But I think in this case you should be grateful for Sister's help. If you truly had an issue with the companion -- she was rude to Mom, or you thought she was stealing -- then your Sister really can't make you accept her. But, hey, it sounds like this is a good thing for all of you. Thank Sis and walk to the park with a good book. :)
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Actually the first time I only sat at the table for 10 minutes and realized that if I stayed she would keep talking to me. The third time I talked with her about cooking some meals. But otherwise I am not visiting with her, I did not watch the movie with them. I am going to be going out as soon as I get my car in order which should not be more than 2 weeks. I know I can do that and I cannot wait to get back in therapy. Well if she is doing what she is supposed to do then I guess its ok. Like I said I would have to complain to sis and she would probably blow me off. The woman is from an agency my sis found. I am glad to hear that this is normal, I do feel so much better. Thank you for your input.
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She is really just a Baby( Momma) sitter. Go out! Have a mani-pedi. Go for a quiet meal, the park, shopping...but GO! I have one that comes for 4 hours every other Sunday. I am dressed, ready and holding my purse when he gets here. If I come home to early, I sit on the baseball benches at the school across the street until my time is up.
Don't over think it. It is a gift to you....make the most of it.
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Sounds like your sister hired a *companion* for your Mom, more or less an adult babysitter. Use this time to do things you want to do but haven't been able to do because you were in constant watch over your Mom. Enjoy this time, get away from the house for those 2 hours. Work out in the yard if you enjoy doing that.

And let this woman entertain your Mom, even if it is just watching a movie. Maybe this woman feels she needs to talk with you because you are in the room.
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Was this person hired from an agency or was she hired privately.
In any case, this particular aide does not sound like she has much interest, other than get paid to do very little. If hired private, you should insist on finding an aide that will provide the needed care. If with an agency, I would call them and request a new aide. Any good company should not have a problem finding you a better helper. If they give you a problem its time to find a new agency pronto.
I own an agency Baylin Home Care and we have no problem changing out a care giver as many times as it takes to find the perfect match.
Good Luck
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Going out is a good idea. Allow the caregiver and mom to have their bonding experience. It's good for mom to have something to focus on besides family.
Companions usually do not cook, it takes their attention away from the patient and cooks are usually paid twice as much as a companion.
A cook or cleaner here is about $20 per hour, a chauffeur $30 per hour. Of course the companion is there for MOM and nobody else. Let mom enjoy her company, it's like a small gift to her, and she shouldn't have to share it.
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Did you post something similar earlier in the week or so? If not, there's somebody out there with the exact same problem.

When I hire a companion care-giver for mom, I don't expect her to do anything other than visit with mom . . . when and if mom wants to visit. If you hadn't been there, I think it may have been a totally different visit.

If you have specific suggestions for ways she can entertain your mom . . . things your mom likes to do . . . by all means, make a list and have things handy. Puzzles, cards, whatever.

If you expect her to cook or prepare a meal (other than just dropping one in front of her that you've prepared), that should be discussed with the service you're working through.

Your sister is right. Go to your room. Why are you even home? Isn't the purpose of care giving to give others a respite? Why would I pay someone $22 an hour and then sit and talk with her??
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