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V, my first reaction was to just leave her alone, but then I kept reading and found out you were LIVING WITH HER? Oh my gosh, that does put a wrench in things doesn't it? Your mother is a compulsive type person and is not going to change that I'm afraid. The old saying, 'you can't change a leopards spots' is true unfortunately. What does your husband say about this? I know you said he's 'disabled' but he still has an opinion right? And do you have any siblings? If you refuse to be sucked into her drama and tell her that you're not going to help her until she stays on the Zoloft and sticks with the chore plans you laid out, do you think she'll say ' get out of my house?' Is that something you see her doing? If so, then you'll have to tread lightly or actually find a way to get out from under her thumb. That's the real problem that I see. You and your husband have put yourselves under the subjection of your mother, so you feel trapped. Otherwise you could say, 'take care of yourself mother, because I can't' and leave her alone. BUT, she NEEDS you so that's working in your favor so remember that. You need to let go of the anger you have towards your mother's choices in life, and trying to get her to change her destructive habits because let's face it, that's never going to happen. I wish I had more helpful answers for ya, it stinks (quite literally) having to live amongst the cigarette smoke I know, but hang in there, it's not forever right? You WILL find another job. You WILL move our eventually. You WILL survive this set back, it's NOT the end of the world. ♥
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