How do I keep from hating my siblings?

oh, siblings....my mother appointed a sister as exceutor after her death. Interesting thing is...that she things she is in charge of mom now, while she is living! She starts arranging things, when I ask what she is doing she told me that she will tell me if I will do the work. I told her I just wanted to know what is going on. I am the daily caregiver. She is the visitor. All she could say to me was that knowledge is power and then proceeded to ignore my request for information about my mother. My mother is abusive to me. I feel like a rag, cleaning woman.
She embarrasses me in front of my visiting nieces then acts as if nothing happened. Ready for the insane asylum...

lonecaregiver1...Since your sister is in charge of Mother, you should give her a date, say the end of the month, that she needs to make other arrangement for your Mother. You will be no longer available except to visit when you have the time. Get a new address and caller ID. Sounds harsh but your life is important!

It is not necessary to give up your life, physical/mental health to care for anyone. Sounds like you are being abused by the entire family. Please make the decision to take care of yourself and get on with your life. Best wishes!

Do you mean to move away? I own my home nearby. It is not so easy to move. If I don't answer the phone she leaves a voicemail to bring her credit card back. Other threats are not paying tuition/weddings for the kids.Unfortunately I am partially financially dependent on her.

You know.....initially I was resentful....now it has been eight years and I just dont care anymore. So last Mother's day the one sister visits and chats up mom then twice comes to my room, tears up and asks about her inheritance. So next visit? I will stay away for those few days. I dont have room to hate but I certainly dont have to listen to that! I totally disagree with the "you made your decision" school of thought. I would never have allowed a sibling to carry all the weight without offering voluntarily help or relief.

Hey Montauck Mother's Day what a joke!

How about having 5 older brothers and none of them have time to help our 85 year old mother....as the only daughter these 5 brothers have chosen to take the out of site out of mind approach. I've asked for them to at least call our mother on routine basis that she can count on, but only one brother actually does it. One other brother got mad and said "You can't tell me what to do or when to call my mother..." Sad, they don't even call her for mothers day or her birthday, much less for any other holiday.
I finally had to realize that my siblings are selfish and they really don't care what happens to our mother and I let go of depending on them for assistance in caring for our mother. With 6 children involved, there is always misunderstandings and other perceptions of what is going on.

There are plenty of times that I wish that I were an only child. My two older siblings have always been close but, not with me. And that's ok. The only problem is that they never bother to help take care of our mother.

They take the time and days off of work to go on their vacations together but never bother to relieve me from the never ending caregiving that I have done for over 15 years. So the times that I have stood up for myself they act as if I am the bad guy. I ask the question---why should I always have to make the first move to contact them? I have always known that telephones can be used to make and receive calls. Any contact we have had was initiated me. So while in theory it sounds good in that we should let attitudes or comments slide from the non-helping siblings, sometimes I can't help it and have lashed out. I have tried over the years to explain and describe the help that I need but to no avail. It is what it is but don't expect unconditional sibling love from me. Not now.