ok, you guys have helped me before, so here goes. ok, since ive moved back to my 85 yr dads, ive been having the weirdest health problems, skin legions that come and go that 2 derms dont what it is, way too many odd things..im 44, peri menapause has crossed my mind, everything has crossed my mind.now ive always been very in tune with my mind body and surroundings,i see whos really behind the eyes, if that makes sense..ok.. now its been a lot of deja vu as well, i remember my mom for many years complain of the most bizarre things, we all thought she was nuts, she died last year dementia. im wondering if her dementia wasnt 'helped along', ill explain..she would say 'bills trying to poison me with the water'. we all drank the same water, were ok.he tell her 'its all in your head'.words he tells me now..i think hes tampering with my food, just enough to get me bloated,and skin broke out...thats one example, im trying to keep this kinda short.. and yes, i have gone though all possibiltys, and my gut screams that he wants me too sick to date, too sick to do anything outside of here.now, even sick, im never sick for long...my symptoms ARE weird, but when i went to my last doc, he strongly urged me to 'get out of the house' as a trial run to see if my symptoms improve. and sure enough, they do.this last time i left for 5 days,i hobbled into my car my ankles were so swollen, skin was so ugly, but he kept on piling more and more junk here for me to do, like putting stuff in the way of the shower so i HAVE to clean it if i want a shower..like leaving sticky dripped everywhere knowing im allergic to bug bites and MUST have a clean kitchen, he 'helps' by dripping or dragging dogpoop/mud on the bottom of his shoes all up and down the hall, i vacumn it or i step in it..ya know? i had to crawl to my car to escape, i got a motel that had a spatub in the room to get my legs to work again! gone 5 days, i had lost 5 pounds ( YAY!) skin cleared up after the second day..im wondering, since this doc has known my folks for a while, if he knows something that he cant tell me, like that my dad did this to my mom? and i hate even having my brain go to this place, but my instincts have NEVER let me down, except when i ignore them.the more i hear 'its all in my head' the more i know that if i start to secondguess myself, that'd be it for me.. im rambling, sorry.venting a little too here) now. ive asked my dad not to buy or cook food for me, i think ive mentioned that before here, and so long as im eating single serving foods, im ok. when i eat anything thats open in the fridge like milk, it starts up again.few days ago, my ankles swelled up again, so i asked how to fix the hot tub in the back yard. it needed cleaned.. first he tells me it cant be heated the usual way, he has to run a hose from another area of house .??.when i ask why he gets mad,' you think you know more than me? ive been electrician for blahblahblah'..and now the hottubs filthy...with what looks ike sediment..whatever, ive got open sores, im not getting into that water! so he yells again 'you think your smarter than your doc;....its like, jeez...i understand, stressfull, but the things my mom used to say, im now seeing! only im NOT crazy, not like he wants me to be. he does things to test me, i know him better than he knows himself i think, i see him going from one age to another, one day its 'super bill' the man that can lift a car, to 'bratty bill', the michevious boy pulling pranks on the nuns,'scary bill' the one that sees me as his siter he hates. theres 'perv bill' that goes in my undie drawer, its a different dude every day. ok. i can even handle that, but i cant handle dude trying to poison me! am i crazy? what do i do? theres so much more, dont fit me for that straight jacket just yet..i am very strong, but if taking care of him means i have to be sick by his hand, then im outta here! i dont know if he knows he does this, or an unconcious effort not to be alone.either way, im not gonna let him do to me what it sure looks like he did to my mom. its weird, my sisters son is going through stage 4 cancer that just hit this healthy 25yr old kid, makes you wonder if stuff runs in the blood? im adopted, im not that blood line. ( im not accussing anybody of anything here,just pointing out what keeps happning.over and over)
ok, ill be happy to get in more detail, ask me, i refuse to belive my mind and body are failing me, it doesnt feel like that at all..my instincts are dead on accurate...that doesnt change with age.