My problem is hubby age 72 is unable to stand, even with lift chairs, without my assistance. He has severe nerve damage in legs due to diabetes and arthritis in knees and fractured his hip last December. He was actually doing quite well when he was released from rehab/nursing home after being there 100 days. He got home and received in home help until Medicare stopped paying for it and they left. Since they left 7weeks ago, he has refused to follow Dr instructions to go to out patient rehab 3 days a week so he won't lose any more muscle mass and before the nerve damage gets worse. He was doing good with a walker until 7 weeks ago and now is in wheelchair only. He has lost all ability to lift himself and walk with walker more than maybe 3 steps. He depends on me now for all lifting, moving his legs so he can get in bed, get on and off toilets (which I had specially lifted for him) and no longer does anything for himself but sit in recliner all day long smoking (yes, smoking) He just started Wellbutrin Monday, replacing Zoloft, which did not help his depression. He is verbally and mentally abusive and was even before his illness. I, actually was in process of filing for divorce when all this happened and now am stuck. He also will not see any more Dr's and I actually went to his neuro without him for test results. I am 59 and falling apart. I cared for my father for years and not even a yr later, hubby had heart attack, suffered closed head injury and the hip fracture. I am tired of taking care of people and especially one that yells all day long and if I even so much as say, my back hurts, he will say "what about me?" It is all about him and always was but I did not notice or it did not come out until well into our marriage. I saw on this board postings about narcissists and this fit hubby. I would have never thought this. Every once in a while he will say kind words and how he appreciates all I do but I can no longer buy his bull. We have been married almost 17 yrs. His 2 adult daughters barely call and helping is out of the question. He has siblings but they will not help me. I am alone in this and in mental and physical pain. I find myself wanting to hurt him and that is very unlike me. I have turned into a monster and hate it. I cannot afford to put him in any homes, we own house and owe over hundred grand on it. He has small annuity in his name only but if he goes to assisted living, they will probably take our monthly income to pay for it, which would leave me to sell home with no income to live. I stopped working in 2009 to care for dad and now hubby. I cannot afford lawyer at all, we have no will either. I am not protected at all. Sorry for such a long story, where should I turn? I am in Michigan.