My mother is 71 yrs. old. She has suffered from depression/bipolar tendencies most of her life but has refused any help or medications to treat the symptoms. My dad and mom divorced when I was 5 (I'm now 44) and she never remarried but lived with her boyfriend for 29 yrs. before he passed away 10 yrs. ago. That relationship was physically and mentally abusing for the first 5 yrs. or more. She has lived on her own for 10yrs. She does not like living by herself and makes note of it everyday I talked to her as well as my brothers ( I have 2 older than me) and we have paid her rent for the last 10 years as well. She is stubborn, argumentative, manipulative, resentful of others lives even her own children, nasty at times, and selfish. As a result of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for over 40 yrs. she has been diagnosed with severe emphasima and congestive heart failure. She refuses to stop smoking and is supposed to be on oxygen 24/7. She does not use the oxygen like she should, she does not do all her breathing treatments like she should and does not follow-up with doctors appointments without a fight and that includes the 4 hospital visits within the last 2 yrs. due to the relapse of the emphasima and congestive heart failure. Oh, she has not gone to a dentist in years or a gyno and I other underlying ailments that are getting worse and she will not address them. She lives in a studio apartment and can get around fine. I do her grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, and pick up her mail every day or every other day because she can not walk to the mailbox anymore due to her breathing. I do other odds and ends stuff also. After this last hospital stay I had a nurse come out to her home and check her vitals and make sure she knew how to take care of her conditions. A social workers also came out to talk to her about her feelings, etc. After six weeks ( insurance only paid for six weeks of service) the nurse told me she has been noncompliant and refuses to make any changes to better her health. She also turned down all the services from the social worker (ex. meds for depression, meal on wheels, senior activities, etc.) This would not only benefit her but it would have helped alleviate some of the stress I feel from helping her and then coming home to my own family and house. She wants me there 24/7 to take care of her and keep her company and entertain her. She receives ss and is on welfare. She spends money (qvc and hsn) that she does not have and continues to ask me or my brothers for money like we are a bank. She also has a car (that my husband and I gave her 5 yrs. ago) that is not working right now and we help with those expenses. We have not gotten it fixed yet because she should not be driving due to the fact that she always complains about seeing double. She makes reference to my brothers and I all the time about us buying her a house and a new car. She refuses to believe she has health problems and that we can not buy her a house and a new car. She blames everyone for the life she lives and for her health problems. She calls me all day long and when she cannot get a hold of me she gets mad. Because of her mental illness she has been alienated by her own brothers and sisters, including her own mother who was always crying that someone has to do something about her. Now I don't want to sound like she is an awful person, because when she was married to my dad everyone said she seemed fine. I do have some fond memories of my mother, just not that many. When I was 12 yrs. old my brothers and I had to move in with my dad because my mom could not longer provide for us financially and she was very depressed at the time. I don't blame her for her mental illness which I think has a direct effect on her not helping herself physically but I am emotionally drained and tired of arguing with her all the time. She says she doesn't care anymore. I love my mother but I have these feelings of resentment against her for making me feel guilty for the way she has chosen to live her life. I am blessed to by a stay home mom to my now teenage sons and I truly believe I am still home because I was meant to help my mom but I don't know how much more I can take. I am all she has because she choses to not befriend anyone and my brothers work all the time. I feel like I am not doing enough, although I know I'm doing a lot and I sometimes feel like a bad daughter because I have these feelings of resentment and being tied down.