My mother has been in a nursing home for 3 1/2 years with Alzheimer's.
My father who is still living in the addition we built for them years ago wants to be with her - sometimes. We've been working with the nursing home for a couple of years to make that possible.
Every time a room becomes available my father gets cold feet.
The "problem" is that someone needs to die for a bed to become available to him. Once he's there someone else needs to die for them to be placed in a room together. There are a limited number of rooms which can accommodate a couple because most of the rooms have a shared bathroom.
Once he's in a room it will easier for the staff to get my parents together.
A bed in a semi-private room finally became available for my father. He was in a good mood today (he isn't always - he mood swings much of the time) and is open to the idea. I am so ready to have my life back after 11 years of caring for my parents.
So now I feel guilt, shame . . . a plethora of feelings. I feel like I'm abandoning him. In all honesty I'm afraid that he will feel that I'm abandoning him. He's really good at guilt tripping.
Has anyone else gone through this?
My father will be 98 in a couple of weeks. It was really difficult placing my mother. This seems even more difficult because my father is of "sound mind". He has many physical ailments and needs more care than I can give him.
Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!