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I have a 92 year old widowed mother who lives in the Pacific Northwest. She is in an assisted living home (only because she is in a wheelchair & can't walk). She has all her faculties and does everything for herself and is basically independent. Up until this past fall, I have flown out to be with her for 3 weeks twice each year. I have not seen her since last August (nearly a year).
My husband had an emergency colostomy removing all of his colon which in itself is a major life changer. (He is 73). After the hospital and rehab he came home, did real good and about a week and a half later stopped eating and drinking which eventually led to another hospitalization for dehydration. He was so weak. This time when he came home from the hospital and rehab, so far he has done wonderfully. I am worried that if I leave he will stop eating/drinking or fall.. There is no family here to help me. I don't have money to hire someone to be here for him. Do you know of any service that could just call him a couple of times a day to check on him, make sure he is okay and if not, take the proper course of action until I could get back? I don't know when I might never see my mother again before it is too late. Thank you

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Are you a member of a church? They wouldn't provide a care-giver, but maybe some folks who could visit once a day at mealtime. Ask for advice at the local senior center.

You can't afford 24/7 care, but what about a "babysitter" to come in daily to look at him and cheer him up with conversation. Does he like dogs? Is there a dog walker who could stop in? You would have to pay these people, but not too much. Look for a stay-at-home mom or a sassy older babe like me in your neighborhood.

You would need to set something up with Visiting Nurse or your local doctor to take action if things did require action.

Do you have a Lifeline button thingy?

If you possibly can, do go visit your mom. Best wishes.
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I have found myself in the same situation. I've tried to create a FB group for other "children" of residents in my dads ALF, but I haven't found a way to promote it.

My thought was for family members that don't live near the ALF could send a message and ask those that live close, to check in every now and then. The concept was good. Implementation = fail. :(
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Could he go to respite care? I would ask if Medicare would pay for it. (I don't know.)
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