How do I get over the grief of watching my mom die while taking care of her?

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It is very hard, and my heart goes out to you. Although it was decades ago, I lost my mother after a long, slow battle with cancer, and my father after a long struggle following a stroke. I too felt like an orphan.
But to the excellent advice here, may I add some perspective that comes from time? It will get better. Not today, nor tomorrow, but eventually. My best advice is not to isolate yourself, even if you feel too bad to be in company. Accept help from hospice and others, gratefully. Surround yourself with family and friends who love you. And realize that we are all mortal, and many people understand and have been through what you are going through, even if some express themselves awkwardly. Involve yourself as much as possible with the world outside your door, and give as much of yourself as you can to everyone, not just your mother. Accept whatever love and support comes your way. Years from now, when the grief has subsided, you will honor her memory by living joyfully and fully. It is what she wants for you.
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These are all very sad stories indeed. Each very touching in their own way. W
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I am grieving the lost of my uncle who died in his home Aug 1 and it's hard. I have to try and take care of my mother with the big help from my sister. My uncle survived colon cancer. He was like a father to us kids. The only "dad" I've ever known.
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Sandra, please take comfort in the fact that you are able to be there for your Mom. For various reasons, not everyone is able to do what you are doing. I'm sure your mom is taking much comfort in the fact that you are there overseeing things, caring for her and making her transition as easy as it can possibly be. I will pray the Lord will give you the strength needed to get through this with your Mom. Take care and God Bless.
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I just lost my Mom in the same way. She began slowing down, stopped eating/drinking and eventually became bed bound. Hospice was there to guide us through the transition my Mom was going through. To be honest with you, we grieved. It is hard to watch your loved one go through something like this and you probably feel helpless and uncertain. I know I did. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling and you should feel those feelings. You will get over it. It is different for everyone. Talk to the Social Worker or Chaplin that are assigned to your hospice. They are there to get you through this and know how to help you. And ask the Hospice people questions, any questions, they are there to help you too. You might also try writing down your feelings in a journal. This helped me too. Good luck to you, and know that this forum is a wonderful place to get inspiration and help.
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I don't think you can ever COMPLETELY get over it. However, in time the pain will become less aND LESS UNBEARABLE AND BECOME MORE TOLERABLE. mY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU DEAR, IT REALLY DOES. i'M SADDENED BY YOUR LOSS. w
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((((Sandra)))) The ladies have had excellent advice, hospice was there when Mom passed, they offer grief counseling, it helps to be able to talk about it, and share with someone who understands.. That is how I found this site, needing someone who understood what it was I was going through.. Big Hugs my friend, and know that we are here if you need to talk.
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I am very sorry that you have to go through this but your mom is so lucky that you are there, my mom lives with me and has many diseases including copd and diabetes and I know the day will come when I will have to do what you are doing, I think about it all the time and have done my share of crying and praying that God will keep me strong and get me through this because my mom needs me, lots of hugs and I will keep you in my prayers
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Hospice has wonderful counselors/socialworkers. The nurse comes to see my Mother at our home and the counselor comes to see me. She has been a tremendous help. And so is reading this website.
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ANN:

As my Dad faded, it became more difficult to keep him comfortable and keep myself from unraveling. Running on fumes, my sons became my Higher Power. For me, then, family support was key. Months before he passed on, I don't know how many times I went through the Stages of Grief.

It wasn't until the last day when I finally accepted his life had come full circle. I was relieved ... for him.

This family will be here 24-7. Just holler okay?
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