Follow
Share

My mother fell and dislocated her shoulder about 3 yrs ago. Then she a heart attack and they gave her a shunt a year after that. All the while her memory seemed "Off". She moved out of the house she was in, and moved in with me and my husband for 6 months. She was just as difficult to live with as ever. Her reasoning abilities seemed to me to me going down hill, but she was still very aware of all that was going on, and still able to make her own decisions, but since my granddad, her father, died of alzheimers, I knew there were signs. She moved out into her own apartment about 25 minutes away, because my brother didn't have a home to go to, and she didn't want to live alone. So for the last 2 years she, my brother, and his girlfriend and their 4 yr old have been living with my Mom. I take care of all her doctors visits and recently, after she had another heart attack in Oct. of 2012, I got POA because her mind has gotten way worse. Over the last 6 months, she has come to the point that she can't do simple things like, remember how she is helped out of her chair ( her knees are bad too) to not remembering that she hasn't washed herself. I have been over and made her let me shower her, but she is a big woman and is very combative and doesn't want help, but complains about everything she does, that it "hurts". Sometimes I think some of it is put on. She is a large woman, and there is coming a time very soon that we aren't going to be able to help her. The doctor ordered home health and they are suppose to call and set something up. We do not have money to help my Mom. She only has Medicare and a fixed income. She has always said, she "doesn't want to go to a nursing home" yet, she putting a lot of responsibility on all her loved ones and has always been a selfish person, and I kind of feel like some of this is for attention. I don't know how to talk to her , because I don't know when it is put on, and when she is really in a "fog". How can I get the authority to have her transferred toa facility with out having to have her permission. I don't have the money for a lawyer and I don't know how much longer we can help her, physically. This very stressfull and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Thank you!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Yes the is exactly what I did today. She has Medicare, but I applied for Medicaid and I am faxing it in tomorrow. I am hoping that she won't fight it if it gets bed enough. I can't afford legal fees to get her declared incompetent. I have POA and she has signed the thing at the hospital for me to make decisions should she not be able to, and Home Health is suppose to call tomorrow to set up something. I guess that is all that can be done since she refuses everything else.
Than you for all your input.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

So for now, with in-home health aides the situation is OK?

Is Mom on Medicaid? Would she qualify? They would do a needs assessment and determine what in-home help she is eligible for, and also cover supplies like incontinence items. If she would eventually need Medicaid to go to a care facility, the sooner you apply the better, since she can use the benefits while she is still at home.

Is it possible that by the time she needs placement (Brother and Friend are not able to provide enough care even with in-home help), that she will not fight it?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My brother and his girlfriend are content to help her daily. The apartment is in my mother's and the girlfriends name. Neither one of them work, so the rent is paid by my mother. My brother was a great help to my grandmother when she needed help, and my Aunt paid him to stay with er and take care of her. I know he is good at helping, BUT my Mom is way heavier than my brother and his girlfriend is very short. So I am concerned the worse my mother gets, the more they wont be able to do for her. My Aunt and I are both on a POA for my Mom, and I feel like she definately needs the home health to help with showering and such. I tried to do it and I couldn't get all of her taken care of alone.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I think you would have to have guardianship. I don't think you can get it without a lawyer and without spending a fair amount of money. (I hope others with more experience in this will also respond.)

Is the apartment lease in her name, or your brother's?

Is your brother content to continue living with her? Are he and his girlfriend getting concerned about the level of care she needs?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.