Being depressed is totally understandable and very common for caregivers. I'm sorry you are going through this.
You do have solutions:
You can either hire (privately or through an agency) a companion aid for him to keep him occupied and take him places so you can have your life,
or
you transition him to AL.
Hiring in-home caregivers will prevent him from resisting going anywhere, but then you'll need help at night. Round-the-clock caregiving will eventually cost more than a facility.
I can only guess that the reason your husband no longer wants to attend group sessions is because he can no longer follow any dialog or even understand the spoken word much any more and feels uncomfortable in settings like that. And I don't blame him. If like my late husband he just wanted to stay home in his chair and watch TV, which I let him do. However I did not stop living my life best I could. Even if it meant just getting out to do lunch or supper with a friend, going to church Sunday mornings, or running to the grocery store. Anything to get out and about to rejuvenate my soul. And in your case it may mean hiring someone to come in a few days a week so you can get out and do the things that bring you joy. If your husband is a veteran, the VA has help available, the Shepherd Center has free volunteers that will come stay with your husband for a few hours and Senior Services may also have volunteers available. There is help out there, you just have to do your homework. I wish you well as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
I am so sorry. This must be very difficult. I can't personally see what you can do about any of this.
You say that he doesn't attend group sessions at senior center and prefers to watch TV. I am 81 and my partner is 83. He is a political junky who loves TV and I avoid politics like the plague and watch very little TV. Moreover, even if watching together, he likes comedy, I love true crime. So go figure. There isn't a whole lot that we do that IS together, but we live together and share those moments you do. I think that you may be left finding your own contentment. When he IS at senior center doing his own thing, that's the time for YOU to do your own thing. Again, there sure isn't any perfect in all of this. That old thing they tried to tell us about old age being a good time? Who were they trying to kid?
You do have solutions:
You can either hire (privately or through an agency) a companion aid for him to keep him occupied and take him places so you can have your life,
or
you transition him to AL.
Hiring in-home caregivers will prevent him from resisting going anywhere, but then you'll need help at night. Round-the-clock caregiving will eventually cost more than a facility.
Are you his PoA? If not, is anyone?
And I don't blame him.
If like my late husband he just wanted to stay home in his chair and watch TV, which I let him do. However I did not stop living my life best I could. Even if it meant just getting out to do lunch or supper with a friend, going to church Sunday mornings, or running to the grocery store. Anything to get out and about to rejuvenate my soul.
And in your case it may mean hiring someone to come in a few days a week so you can get out and do the things that bring you joy.
If your husband is a veteran, the VA has help available, the Shepherd Center has free volunteers that will come stay with your husband for a few hours and Senior Services may also have volunteers available.
There is help out there, you just have to do your homework.
I wish you well as you take this very difficult journey with your husband.
You say that he doesn't attend group sessions at senior center and prefers to watch TV. I am 81 and my partner is 83. He is a political junky who loves TV and I avoid politics like the plague and watch very little TV. Moreover, even if watching together, he likes comedy, I love true crime. So go figure. There isn't a whole lot that we do that IS together, but we live together and share those moments you do. I think that you may be left finding your own contentment. When he IS at senior center doing his own thing, that's the time for YOU to do your own thing.
Again, there sure isn't any perfect in all of this. That old thing they tried to tell us about old age being a good time? Who were they trying to kid?
I am wishing you the best.