Started taking care of my elderly father and step-mother and now my husband has joined the list. How do I survive this?


I started asking questions hoping for answers for my elderly father and step mother now I have had to add my husband of only 60 years old. How do you take care of so many and still keep your sanity. Husband had a brain tumor (not curable) and is going rapidly into dementia along with the other two.

His personality is one of constant worry, asking if I am having affairs, anger, frustration (understandibly knowing you are not going to survive. I have to work (40+ hours a week to get by). Try to remember it is the nature of the disease for all of them but it is real hard. Try to remember one day at a time but the future keep staring me in the face.

Any ideas on how to survive this?

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thank you for your comment. We do not have and services close so it is difficult to find anyone but I will keep working at it. You do not know how much I appreciate your ideas.
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Angelmaker - my heart goes out to you and I am so sorry about your poor husband at such a young age. You are a wonderful person doing all that you do. I understand that your father and stepmother do not want anyone coming into their home. This is common and a natural response. However, they are going to require some outside assistance as time goes on. Have you considered contacting Elder Services in your town? They are a wealth of information and perhaps could give you some good tips that some of us might not be aware of in order to be pro-active and give you some piece of mind.

One day at a time is a good way of accepting what is happening - but, you will need help. I was taking care of three at once; and it did require assistance in order for me to keep them all safe and cared for. Hugs to you and take care.
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thank you for your comments. I do have my husband in Hospice but here they can only do so much as long as he is under an Oncologists care. The other two are very set against anyone coming into their home to give any aid. Difficult situation to say the least. Not much help with family too far away. My family helps as much as possible but still not enough. Will just have to wait and see what happens as we go along. Thank you once more.
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angelmaker, it is apparent to me that you need some help. I wouldn't try to take care of three people living in two different places, particularly if my husband was so ill and I had to work. Do you have other resources you can call on to help to care for your father and step mother, so you can devote more time to your husband? Please bring in a social worker to do a needs evaluation to see what type of help is available for you. It may be that your husband will qualify for hospice care, which will help you a good bit. Many good thoughts of support coming your way. One person can only do so much, so don't be afraid to reach out for help.
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