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We didn't visit him. I hear what a saint he was. I agree. I feel bad. I don't have to care for him and his details of life daily, I feel bad. I felt he was more a "job". I feel bad. I'm remembering when I was young and how nice he was. I feel bad. I remember how good he was to my kids. I feel bad.....I have health problems that exacerbate my emotions now (Dad passed 3 weeks ago) I feel bad....help???

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Content, there are many who have written here that their loved one passed at a time when they could not be with them. This must happen for good reason. Some souls are waiting to feel release from their children and friends. This is why we send blessings and say " they're in good hands."
Some like to do things with people around, others want to be alone for certain things. Maybe your Dad sensed it was his opportunity and took it. Who knows? You must be in shock, and I pray for your peace, Dear One. xo
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We visited him at rehab. We were there on regular basis and had his birthday (86) party there....it was a Sunday and we would normally have gone there that day, we didn't and that night we get a call that he passed away and went to heaven............I Could Not Believe It and Still don't even tho I was the one and only one to go through his things and clothes to give away.....
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His pain is over. When you think about what a good father he was, ask yourself if he would want you to feel bad. Sad, maybe, but not bad.

You did so much, and part of you says you should have done more. IGNORE that part! It is not telling the truth. You did all you could.

when you sleep tonight, may you dream about him being alive and healthy as he was, and just enjoy that dream.
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It's good to feel bad. It's part of the process. It will pass. But know and feel good about the 6 years you gave to care for him. You would and did give of your life for him. You are grieving now..allow yourself to do so. It's exhausting to be a caregiver. That's why we all meet here. I cared for my dying, cancer-ridden son, and now my elderly father. It's exhausting. rehab is as much for us as it is for them at times and you used it. No one here faults you for that. Six words for you..."Well done good and faithful servant." Now, go take time, as much as you need, to take care of you. Your dad would have wanted that.
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Content, You feel bad, that's to be expected because you lost your dad. Don't try to feel anyway except how you feel right NOW. It is really true, that "time does heal all wounds" It sounds trite I know, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. You did your best with what you were given.
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Dear content,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad. I know how you feel because my dad died a month ago.

Once the dust settled I kinda looked around, waiting for some guilt to show up but it never happened. I just felt really, really sad. I still do. And I miss him so much, more than I expected.

It's ok to feel bad because you've suffered a loss. It's normal to feel that way. After a month I still get choked up almost everyday but we have to keep putting one foot in front of the other one day at a time. I apologize for the bumper sticker philosophy but it's true. That's all we can do.
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You did the best you could. As you are remembering him and the essence of his character, he is with you. There is nothing you can do now except get on with taking care of yourself as you mourn him. Recover your strength. You can do it, you must do it. That's your job now. You took care of him for 6 years in your home? Ok, that's a lot, and it was his time to move on. That is life. And death is part of life. It's an ongoing adventure. Be happy for him that he is out of pain, and knock off the guilt. I hope a no nonsense approach helps you. You don't need to focus on the emotions anyone else may pour on you. You did a fantastic job, content. Get some rest and give it time. Hugs, xo
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