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I care for my husband who has brain tramatic injury and two elderly at my home and it is not an easy task. I times i feell fustrated with no one to talk too. I get very depress and oppressed. I had to start working because my husband was the bread winner which he can no longer work. So, i decided to get a housse and bring two elders with me. Well she the (elder) is very easy, but at times can get very difficult. She's has heart congested failure and suffers dementia and due to her heart congested failure she requires alot of rest and the husband wents to keep her going. Her heart rate can go up to 122 then sudden drop to 65 which causes her to get disoriented, and confused. Her husband doesn't realizes the extent of her care that is require. He is very ungrateful and selfish and he wants everything his way. I have thought of walking out on them. But, when i look at her i feel sorry for her and end up staying. I have spoken to his family. The son came and has spoken to him but to no avail, his own selfish ways ruins the peace for her and this house. What should i do?

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Big hugs to you. I don't even know how you do it!! However something has to stop
and even though it won't be pretty or exactly what you want to do, you have to protect your sanity or you will not be good for anyone. I take care of one parent and the lonliness is sometimes unbearable. I would say check out every option for relief through organizations within your state, community, church...talk to people like you are doing on this site. If you have true friends, they will be there to help you. I know that you don't want to dump all of your issues on someone but sometimes we need too and a good friend or family member will understand that. They may not have any answers for you but can be of support as you take ACTION!! When you are depressed getting things done make you feel better and more productive. I wish you every prayer but I think it's time to clean house!!
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Unless you have medical training and education should you be responsible for the lives of others. You are putting them as well as yourself at risk for injury and possible law suits. Take care of your husband and tell the elderly couples family they will have to find other arrangements. As a nurse, the woman could have a heart attack or stroke. Are you trained to know what to do next?
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Well here is my thought. Don't get me wrong though got to do what you have to do. I know how you feel I have a mother that needs 24hr care got this through Valley Fever. Anyway she has memory loss like Dementia. I been taking care of her cause shes my mother and I do love her and care about her very much. I been taking care of her for 7 years now I'm scare too all alone. I tried help for me I tried everything there is some help but for the most part i do it all by myself!!! there is nobody there when you really need them. If it was me I try and move into something smaller for you and your husband. Then the other two people need to move on you have your own load that's enough to deal with. I know you care about her or them the elders but are they your family who are they. If they are not part of your family then I suggest that there Son or another family member need to come get them or take care of them that's what I would do. It will take time a bit but if you want to remain healthy sane then that's what i would do. Good luck n keep us posted! I care about everybody and i love to help people all the time when i can and if i can i do but geez can't help the world!
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Thank you all for your great advice, my husband already has talked to me to get out of this. I do have experience caring for elders. I've been doing this type of work for over 25 years, but this is the first time i have taken on someone with me. I did CNA classes and I also have certified nurses come to the house to evaluate their condition and care. No, there are not my family and family don't want to care for them. But, i'm really evaluated this sitaution.
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Hi Yvonne. I don't know where Ferris1 was coming from in her post, asking whether you were medically trained; but I do know there are oodles of untrained people caring for desperately ill relatives with the help of Medicaid Advantage programs. My husband is a TBI patient, also. There are different levels of TBI as I am sure you are aware. I had to bail out for my own physical safety--not divorced, just living separately. I would take you husband's advice on this. They are wonderful advocates for us when we can't see our way clearly.
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Thank you Ayagba, my problem with this case is that i have signed up for a 2 years contract. Is not as easy as said then done. I'm kind of stuck. I'm looking at some ways to to see if i can break it without any legal actions.
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