Just feeling so alone. Does anyone else feel this way?

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I care for my husband. He has Dementia and is also Legally Blind. It is so hard for him to get out and about and over the years we have lost friends due to death, some moved away and I feel some are just not knowing how to deal with the situation here. My home is currently a mess and I can't seem to concentrate on getting it all back together again. I still work, from home, full time and that only causes more difficulties with taking care of my husband and our home. We used to have people over, but no one comes much any more....other than clients to the office. I never thought at age 65 that I would pretty much be a shut in. I can't even get out to do my own shopping. I pay someone to shop for me. I just feel like my friends have all found others to do things with and forget about us. I sometimes just need someone to talk to. Does anyone else feel this way?

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Denette, There are all sorts of benefits available for veterans! And even more so if they are disabled. For starters check out the Aid and Attendance program on the VA website.
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Thank you all for your suggestions and support! My husband is a Disabled Veteran and I feel that there will be other spouses of Veterans that are in the same boat. I am going to see if there is some sort of benefit for someone to stay with my husband, if he will do well with that anyway. He is very sensitive and always says he wants to just be with me. I am thinking if I can find another Veteran to talk to him and stay with him then I can at least get out to do my own grocery shopping. I hadn't thought about our Senior Center before...good suggestion. This sure isn't the life I had planned on, but my husband has been so good to me and I want to take good care of him too. I haven't heard of the Well Spouse Association before, but will also check that out to see if I can make a friend or two there also. Again.....thanks for all of your help!
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Denette - have you tried hooking up with the Well Spouse Association? Maybe they have a group near you where you could talk in person to other folks in similar situations. At least you could connect with them online.
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Denette, as it's Father's Day why not call your stepmother just to say you were thinking about him and her? Maybe she feels that you can't really want to be bothered with her now that he's gone and she's lonely too; or maybe she has moved on and is living a different life. Better to know than wonder, though!

You mention that you "can't seem to concentrate" on getting your house sorted out the way you would normally like it to be: that's the bit that sounds to me like you need to watch out for depression - of the clinical variety I mean, as opposed to the normal reaction to a really hard situation. Keep an eye on yourself, won't you? If it gets worse, and especially if it gets to the point where you're finding it difficult even to get out of bed and do the things you really want to get done, shout for help, don't try to tough it out.

I appreciate that the virtual friends and companions on AC, while to me they've been a life saver, can only take you so far if you happen to be the gregarious type and you're stuck indoors. But, you know, there will be fellow-travellers in your area - you don't see them because they too are trapped in their houses, wishing there was someone they could share a cup of coffee or a pleasant lunch with. Ask around, ring round, track them down. You can do each other good.
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I understand I am feeling the very same way lonely,
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I read sooo much sadness in your post. We all have a snapshot of what we think our lives will be like as we near retirement. I'm sure yours didn't include what you're experiencing right now.

You simply must change what you're doing. Spend some of your money on care givers that will allow you to get out and about. To church...to the local senior center for a once-a-week card game...an outing with seniors thru your park district. Anything except doing what you're doing now. Start slowly. Get a caregiver 4 hours a week and use that time for yourself.
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I totally feel the same way.Ive lost all my friends and I receive no help or support from my 2 brothers.I write in a journal alot but the stupid piece of paper wont talk back.I just hope God is there with me.Good Luck to you.lonelyluckylu
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Denette, you need to get out of the house. Maybe go to a seniors center for activities you are interested in. Or what about adult day care for yoir husband. I know, I know, I have read it many times here, he refuses to go. Well, somehow, you need to figure out a way to get out of there and have some time for you. Maybe even a memory care facility for him?
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This thing is...I really am alone pretty much. My family lives about 60 miles away at closest. My old friend all seem to be too busy for me. It is not often that I even get a call to check to see how I am doing here. My husband has a couple of nieces that will call every few months. I sure to appreciate that. I guess it has hit me hard today with this being my sister's birthday and she was killed by a drunk driver several years ago and then tomorrow being Father's Day and my Dad passed away a little over three years ago. His wife was friendly when he was alive, but doesn't even answer email much these days. I feel like I have lost that friendship also...if I ever really had one anyway. I try to be positive about the good job I am doing taking care of my husband...even though all by myself. It is hard to start making friends again, but impossible when you can't even get out of the house most of the time. Sorry if I feel like I am feeling sorry for myself. I am not really, I just need to start trying to make some changes, but don't know how or where to start.
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Yes, caregiving can get lonely. We get lip service about support from the community. We get polite questions and a few phone calls, but pretty much everyone goes on their way. The world keeps turning without us. I don't blame anyone, because it is how people are. But it does get lonely being so isolated with someone who has stopped being very good company for us. You have my empathy with what you're going through.
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