I know I need sleep, but I need to ask something. Do you ever find that you are completely consumed with your role as a caregiver?
I finally got a break and came home today. It's been almost a month since I've slept in my own home. I was really thrilled to get here, and wanted to make the most of my time doing things I enjoy. I was going to have a leisurely shower, wash MY clothes, draw, etc.
Here's what I actually did:
I downloaded PDF's and read online articles on subjects that included: Medicare, Alzheimer's, dementia, care giving, stroke, depression in the elderly, and prevention of bed sores,
I went grocery shopping and ended up filling my cart almost completely with food for my mom. Not even half of the carts contents were for my household.
When I'm in a situation where I have an opportunity to socialize, why do I open my mouth and find that my contribution to the conversation is something "mom-based"?
I've been SO wanting this time at home, and am kinda worried about how even when I get my break, I can't seem to break free from my role of caregiver. Instead of being totally blissed out because I have time for myself, I am thinking things like,
"I hope she's ok"
"I wonder what she's doing..."
"I should've done .... (xyz)..."
"What if she's scared?"
Maybe I have time to drive back and make her some sandwiches."