Do you feel fatigued all or most of the time?

Yes! In the past 5 years I have aged 20 years. Even when I wake up feeling fine, I am exhausted before afternoon sets in. I think it comes from the atmosphere. There is no joy to breathe in. My automatic joy-making machine broke soon after I moved in. :(

Yes!! It's awful ... for me it's more mental fatigue. Just watching my father who passed 2 years ago and now mom with AD. I can barely stand it anymore. I haven't woke up refreshed in more than a year. A few hours of sleep here and there simply isn't refreshing. Even if I could sleep I don't seem to get quality sleep anymore.

Before caregiving, I had an abundance of energy. I'm only 51 and feel like Jessie... I've aged 20 years and it shows. Cept I did it in 2 years!

Yes. And I've only been at it four months. I think part of the problem in my case is that I'm automatically empathic, so if I see someone stub their toe I feel a shadow of it. And as I see my mother struggle with simply standing, walking, sometimes thinking itself, I feel the shadow of that in myself too. Since I live with her and work from home I rarely see other healthy people to remember health and somehow my own health erodes in the presence of her illnesses. When I can stay in a state of compassion it is easier to remain more positive though that's a challenge sometimes when I feel like the life is draining out of me.

But seriously though get yourself medically checked out too, you could have a nutritional deficiency or sleep apnea. I'm seeing the doc soon myself.

Let's say before becoming my parents chauffeur and errand runner six years ago, I use to be able to spend 8 hours doing yard work on a Sunday, it was a good tired. Now if I try to do yard work, I am exhausted after 45 minutes. Just can't do it any more :(

I believe we become emotionally and physically spent. Forget about exercising, I just don't have the will power to do it any more. I find myself dozing off in front of the TV, usually the last 15 minutes of murder mystery, not knowing who done it. Plus we tend to get stress related medical issues. Getting cancer didn't help, and developing a heart issue threw another wrench into the works. I feel older than my own parents who are in their 90's.

And how I long for the times back when I could sleep 6 to 7 hours without any worry.... now I find myself awake at 3 in the morning, can't get back to sleep because my mind is racing, so I look for something to watch on TV. Thank goodness for ME TV and those great old shows.

I love ME TV, Retro TV, and also the old movie channels! I have also been distracting myself with DVDs of the old "Dallas" TV show starting in the 70's. How things seemed so much more innocent and at a slower pace even back in the 70's and 80's. Funny to see people without cell phones. I don't think JR Ewing would have gotten away with as much as he did if he could have been tracked by his cell phone....
I am exhausted usually by late afternoon and find myself falling asleep at 9:30 no matter what I am watching.I always fall asleep right before the killer is revealed in a murder mystery too..then awake in the middle of the night and start worrying. I would love to be able to sleep for a full 8 hours completely uninterrupted!

Whitney - Yes me too! The others are right, its draining mentally and physically for various reasons. Many people don't understand why you might be/ I am so tired! Plus add the rest of my or your family! Hang in there and see if you can get some help in daily so you can rest and do things for you.

I used to be able to run circles around anybody 11 years ago. Now I am a mess. I have to clean,cook,wash clothes,weeding,pick up mail,vaccum,dust,pick up after a dog,make appts,go to docs,wash dishes,listen to a maniac complain,and this is just some of the things I do. There are 2 homes involved,not 1. She wont get any help to help me! So am I tired? Oh you better believe it.But according to that lazy a** recluse who lays around ALL D*MN DAY I dont do anything! So now I gotta start laundry on this beautiful sunny warm day. And the soap opera continues.

deb0452, sometimes we have to use tough love... take that list of things you do for your Mom and cross half the things off. I finally did that as I just couldn't keep doing this any more.

Let the house get dusty and vacuum once a month... if your Mom wants the house cleaned more often, she can either do it herself or hire someone. If she whines, just say "I just can't possibly do that". Wash clothes once every two weeks. "Sorry, Mom, I have my own home to take care of, you will need to hire someone". Smile and if the roof falls in with unhappiness, so be it... you won :)

Yes, I am tired just about 100% of the time. I used to be a workhorse...I could work circles around anyone. I have always done very physically demanding things that a lot of men wouldn't do...I just grew up that way...now, it is like even picking my legs up to walk hurts and wears me out and is tiring....I was convinced that I had contracted something that was making me feel this way, so I went and had the gamut of tests run, I just knew something was wrong with my thyroid, my iron, my this, my that...all of it was actually within normal limits, but the mental fatigue is what is mind bending...I look horrible...wore out...

The last few days Mama has been coming out of a horrible UTI and so she has begun to talk to me again, smile again and laugh again..so now I do feel much better, but still just can't find the energy to do anything. I get up thinking today I will do this, this and this...and BEFORE lunchtime all I feel like I want to do it lie down and take a nap.

Like Katie, I watch a lot of the old, retro, tv..I think one reason I do that is because it kind of temporarily transports me back to when life was much simpler...I'm thankful Mama is doing so much better..I'm hoping that will perk me up...but I was going to run a few errands today and I have gotten my bath but I am already eyeing the sofa...I am actually kind of embarrassed to be this tired all the time..I feel like I ought to be doing more, but I don't know how I could possibly do more...

Amen to everything said. I feel better having read the posts because I thought I was just becoming lazy or something. I am burned out.

I know what you mean...I hate that everyone feels so fatigued but it does make me feel less embarrassed at how tired I feel all the time....I actually made it two miles down the hill to get my few items...when I got there they didn't even have what I went for (adult wipes) I was too tired to go any further into town...oh well...

It is such a connection, especially when you are an empathetic person, sometimes I feel that my Mom and I are sharing some kind of vulcan connection and I am having sympathetic symptoms - like some dads do with their preg. wives. From Star Trek to Star Wars....may the force be with all of us!! (I know, I'm such a dork) LOL :)

I don't know of any caregiver who is Not tired All the time. It comes with the disease--your loved one's disease. I feel like I am swimming up stream all day long.

One thing I just started out of desperation but seems to help calm down my racing mind is to listen to meditation tapes at night when I go to bed. I went through several until I found a couple that I really like. One on breathing helps me focus on getting the air in and out of my lungs. When I am paying attention at something so simple as my stomach going up and down, I don't think about all the crazy things going on. I seem to be better able to get to sleep rather than worry.

And when I wake up during the night after he gets up to go to the bathroom or tosses and turns, I turn my phone back on to listen to those meditation tapes. Really helps.

Make sure the environment in your bedroom is conducive to good sleep hygiene.
+ comfortable temperature for you
+ dark room (I use a sleep mask as I need night lights)
+ comfortable mattress and pillow
+ a humidifier to keep the air moist and my dry nose doesn't wake me up
+ background noise of the humidifier is soothing
+ sleepytime tea or some other herbal supplement that helps you relax
+ avoid caffein and alcohol before bedtime

Look for any and all things that help you sleep. That is the most important factor in keeping your health.

I agree with the meditation tapes being helpful..I have also started ending my activity on the laptop for the most part past 8:00..some nights I may have to answer an email about something I am waiting to hear about, but trying for the most part to stop all the frantic activity of cyber world...I think it had been triggering really bad dreams, waking me up just before trying to go to sleep...because as strange as it is..as worn out as I feel sometimes I find it impossible to actually fall asleep because my mind is racing so much...oddly enough, I can't stay awake during the day...

Well I have chronic fatigue syndrome anyway and it is just like an additional weight being added on to my back. I don't sleep well anyway and - just like today - I am worn out looking for something that she misplaced, and she misplaces things all day long because she never puts anything back in the right place. This then becomes My Problem. Why do I have to be the parent? The house looks like a runner up for the Hoarders show, and I look pretty crappy too.

For fatigue, I forgot to mention that you should look into your adrenal and thyroid glands. Review this book called Adrenal Fatigue, the 21st Century Syndrome. Stress really impacts our adrenal glands. But there are natural supplements to help boost it without taking synthetic medicines if you don't absolutely have to.

The thyroid is also a player in our energy. I know that my numbers are in the "normal" range on blood tests. for these hormones. However, I really believe that they may be normal for "normal human beings", but for those of us who are suffering from battle fatigue, we probably need higher numbers of adrenal support, thyroid support, Vitamin B12, Vit. D. I don't think that our good doctors are completely up to date on fatigue as it plagues us. I think the answers are outside the pharmaceutical boxes.

Hopefully it helps.

The answers are closer to nutrients that we are not getting. Not from our foods because our bodies are just not absorbing them. Or because our foods do not have the nutrients they used to when our farming was cleaner, in better soils, and less pesticides.

Be sure to keep up with good quality (key words are "good quality") probiotics and digestive enzymes. As we get older, our bodies need these just as much as we need sleep. Anyway, it is worth a try to take better care of yourself.

Besides caregiver stress, consider vitamin deficiencies, esp Vit D, and sleep apnea (stopping breathing repeatedly while sleeping).

Oh what is sleep?
Im with Deb -0452 I am only one person trying to keep things going the old house is small and I try to keep up but its like do wash the floor or work on bills ?? the house has problems frozen pipes, water in the basement etc.??. Im exhausted. I do have respite but 6 hours a week is not nearly enough. I have someone come in Tues and fri afternoons to give mom a bath.but I set up lunch etc before she comes.I tried to save all my 6 hours to go out of state to see my daughter 4hrs driving and 2 running errands with her .Not
enough time away. but I think that doing the same freaking thing every day all day and watching your parent fail right in front of you is draining emotionally which can be worse than physically. Plus the house is quiet/boring all the time. the wheel chair the commode its like living in convalescent home.
I need a new bed but theres no money. I hear mom breathing or talking in her sleep all night. then the cat comes in.. lol! so needless to say Im lucky to get a few hours of real sleep.
but I agree with getting checked out by a DR.. I was extremely tired a few years ago.. Turned out I had heart condition ( most of that stress was probably from my ex) but I literally almost checked out.. if I didn't go to the dr when I did... I wouldn't be here to complain about being tired.

I agree with you, sanity53, the emotional part really carries most of the tiredness and stress and heart-brokeness for me.

Started to answer last night but I was too tired. Ironic. I feel like I am in a fog ALL the time. With chronic clinical depression and anxiety I have felt tired a lot of the time for the past 25 or 30 years, but especially the past six since I have been caring for my mom. For the first five and a half years of caring for her she was up a few times every night. her new primary doctor started her on Seroquel about 2 months ago and she has been sleeping most of the night. Now I am waking up once or twice a night. Just when I could settle into some good snoozetime. Figures, right? I am so tired all the time and take one or two naps a day on the weekends. *SIGH*.

Speaking for myself only...........
Caregiving: Lonely + Boring = Tiring.
Often feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
When is this going to end? Or will I die first?
We put ourselves "on hold" and end up living in a kind of limbo. A hamster running on a wheel must become bored and then of course tired.
My best survival tip (to myself and to you guys): don't put your whole life on hold thinking there are things you will do later. You don't have a guarantee of later. Squeeze in a few of the things you've been putting on hold. It's a lot of arrangements and expensive to do all this - believe me I know that. But we must carve out some time for ourselves even though the process itself is draining and requires energy. What's the alternative?