My dad was hospitalized for a month last summer. One doctor said he had a stroke and my dad still denies that he did. He was also diagnosed with Polymyalgia Rheumatica so there was rehab, alot of work to regain mobility.
I moved over 2000 miles in 2011 to be within driving distance of him and left a great job and good friends because I felt it was the right thing to do (I signed POA doc in 2007 and am only child with no spouse).
Before entering the hospital, Dad asked me to move back home and move in with him and be his full-time caregiver. I did this in 2009 for a year and I helped him get organized but it was disastrous on many levels. He was hostile, etc. so I moved back to where I was.
The problem now is that he was better for awhile but overall was...and is...increasingly narcissistic, belligerent, insulting and hostile. He dismissed 2 doctors and all home care and now is even saying he doesn't want me to help him anymore. He said he had vision problems last week and jumped in the car and drove 2 hrs to a specialist....I was horrified!
My attorney and all my support team recommends that I do not move back home. Living with him is out of the question for my own health I have learned. My attorney said I was entitled to reimbursement for caregiving related expenses, travel etc. My father is wealthy and even though I am POA he doesn't allow me to touch any money at all.
We quarreled over the phone last week, he hung up on me and withdrew the funds I was expecting and said he no longer wants my help. I was hospitalized last summer as well for burnout and lost my job because of it. I found another one but I am very poor and struggling to make ends meet and fulfill POA duties. He has always been very stingy about money and
balks at paying for some home care even though he could afford it.
What responsibilities, if any do I have here? Not sure his driving 2 hrs with vision problems was safe...and yet it is to the point where we cannot have a civil conversation anymore.
I feel like my life is coming apart. I had a part-time business which is very important to me (which he constantly belittles). I know he's sick and I enjoy helping him but I am sick of the abuse and am scared I'm going to lose my ability to hold a job and take care of my apartment!
What should I do?? Please don't say I'm crazy or bad...I'm trying SOO hard!!!