My mother has been living on her own in a single family home for the last 6 years. Her dementia has gotten progressively worse over the last 2-3 years and I feel she is no longer able to live alone. My brother lives out of state and comes to visit periodically and lately she has been falling often and been getting some bumps and bruises. No one in my family is able lift her anymore so I have had to call my daughters or their husbands to help pick her up. My brother insists she is fine. Last week when she fell, I made sure she was alright and then planted myself right next to her and waited until my brother arrived. He actually helped with her care for 3 days and the next time she fell both of us together could barely lift her. He finally agreed to allow her to enter and Assisted Living facility (for the winter). The problem is he is now questioning if it is really necessary to keep her there and thinks she should go home. He has the POA for Property has taken over complete control of her finances (I have been the one paying the bills and buying her person items until now). She has plenty of money to stay in Assisted Living for the rest of her life - which is exactly what it is for - but he claims control to refuse to pay for her services and to use her money as he sees fit. He has refused to let me see any of her financial information and tells me it is "none of my business" and "he will let me know if there is anything I need to be aware of". I was appointed POA for her health care and I want to make sure she stays in Assisted Living - the place is wonderful, she is receiving excellent care, lots of personal attention and she says she likes it and maybe she'll stay a little longer.
My has requested the home to send him the bill - but then he has spoken with the attorney who drew up the papers about whether he thinks she should stay there - there is "nothing wrong with her". She was the one who informed me that although I was appointed POA for her health I do not have any right to contest any of his decisions on this.
I think it is so unsafe for her to be home alone - she is unable to take care of her personal issues (bathroom, bathing) and with her dementia she is forgetting even the most basic things. My daughters and I were checking on her regularly, but none of us is able to give her full time care.
My concern is - do I really have no right to know what he is doing with her finances or to contest any decisions he makes regarding where she lives? He has POA for Property but I have POA for Health. I feel we should be working together but he refuses to talk to me about this and has accused me of only being interested in in because of her money. I am in the sense that I want to make sure we can continue to provide for her and make her comfortable.
I'm really having a hard time understanding what POA for Property and POA for Health really mean.