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She has Dementia and need to be in a nursing home. We knows that they will take all her assets. and want to be compansated before the nursing home take it all .

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ferris1 please, lets keep this site informational and supportive. I think we live with enough of our own guilt as caregivers (should I, could I, did I, etc) that we want to stay clear of judging each others questions. Wether we pay ourselves or not is not to be judged. Information and empathy only, please.
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I pay myself a small amount from mom's money as I am on her checking account. This is not only with my brothers' blessings, but mom would want me to compensate myself. When she was more sane she would buy me gas, lunch, etc.
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It is a possibility to do so. Are you the DPOA or Guardian of your mom? Do you claim her as a dependent on your taxes? If your mom has enough to cover her cost of living and you do not cover more than half, then her related expenses can cover your cost as a reimbursement. If another person is their DPOA and handles their finances then you will need to work with that individual. If you claim her as a dependent on your taxes, you could possibly double dip in a way with this scenario. Simple question with a complex answer. I'm my mom's DPOA and Healthcare surrogate, Guardian Advocate, and caretaker. My mom's benefits cover all her expenses so I do not claim her as a dependent. However, cost associated to her needs such as pick up meds and take her to her doctor appointments, I do get reimbursement of travel cost. I use the Fed's reimbursement rate per mile to cover this expense per mile. This rate includes gas and factors in maintenance allowance in this rate.

http://www.irs.gov/uac/2013-Standard-Mileage-Rates-Up-1-Cent-per-Mile-for-Business,-Medical-and-Moving

In the link for medical standard rate is $0.24 per mile. When my mother lives with my sister, My sister used google map website that allowed her to calculate the miles taking mom to medical appointment and picking up meds and sent the info to me so I can reimburse her for the cost given I had the DPOA of my mom's finances. The bank account I have is a Representative Payee account where as the SSA send me the check in my name for my mom. I have to track all expenses of her finances and report annually how the money is managed for my mom. Hope this helps.
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She is confusing me with the original poster -- CoeurVaillant, who didn't provide much information with her question. I though Coeur's question was legitimate because she seemed to be asking if it was a justifiable expense. It would be, IMO, as long as it was not projected into a future time when the mother was in a NH. I am surprised the question caused such a response, since it may have been related to Medicaid application. But who knows? Maybe Coeur will be back and fill in the details.
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Whoa ferris 1! That was harsh. If all details aren't written in a post, maybe asking for them would be in order. Not everybody can afford to take on their loved one financially and some may not want to. That doesn't mean they don't care about them or won't care about them in some way. You can disagree but doing it politely is the way to go. Caregivers have rough enough time, they don't need to come on AC and get blasted.
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you never stated your name was on the bank account. I know all about dementia, having had 8 relatives with it, my mother and now my husband. I have endured a lot, felt burnout and run out of funds, but still can find energy and support to go on. My best wishes for your journey.
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Well... it wasn't me she was scolding. Ferris, I did find your response offensive and wrong. Where did you get the idea that such expenses would be fraud? If you are going to make strong statements, explain why you think it would be fraud. People who have their names on the bank accounts or have POAs can also make decisions on how to spend money. Guardianship is not needed. And paying for reasonable transportation cost is not fraud. If so, then I guess it is fraud to let my mother pay for every other tank of gas. Transportation expenses are legitimate.
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"...shame on you for wanting to get paid..." Really, ferris 1, why the scolding? You don't know JessieBelle's situation and until you know differently, please be kind. For many families it can be a great hardship to care for their elderly loved ones and they make many sacrifices in time and money to do it. Asking for a little assistance does not mean someone doesn't love and appreciate their elderly loved one. It's a difficult job, emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. Let's try to support each other and not add to the pain that is already felt when a loved becomes ill or to the guilt that is normal to feel when we admit we are tired or need help. Assume good intentions until shown differently.
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If she is incompetent at this point, any taking of her funds without you being a guardian/conservator BEFORE she was diagnosed constitutes fraud. The nursing home will provide all medicines and shame on you for wanting to get paid for getting her anything. Love and appreciate her for the time she has left.
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If she is in a NH, they will provide her medicines. Before she goes into the NH, however, buying gas would be a legitimate expense if it was to be used for her care. However, you cannot project this need into the future, since her medicines will be provided.

My mother shares my gasoline expense with me. We don't do anything. I pay for a tank, then she pays for the next. I cover all the other car expenses, though she probably wouldn't mind pitching in if asked. I don't think Medicaid would have any problem with this if she ever needs to apply. They expect transportation expenses.

What type of deduction did you have in mind?
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