My 100 yr old mother and 62 yr old brother are heavily co-dependent. When it was decided three months ago that Mom had to go to a nursing home instead of the planned move to assisted living, it meant that my brother no longer got half Mom's pension each month, and no longer had the free place to crash when he didn't feel like going home. I as the power of attorney cut off the payments to him which were bankrupting my mother, and the bro got so furious I was afraid for my safety. Since then, I had to hire a security guard to protect me while emptying Mom's house which had sold; the nursing home reported my bro to the police, and my bro threatened mom's doctor to the point the doctor refused to see Mom with bro again.
At this point, Mom is not allowed out of the nursing home because brother has announced his intention of stealing her away to his home. (My brother is chronically depressed, alcoholic, on disability, and his home looks like something you'd see in a hoarders reality show.) However she has been transferred to another nursing home closer to bro's house. They both want this, so I'm hoping it will reduce the anger. I'd just like to know if anyone else has dealt with a similar situation, and how you managed it.