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Says he feels one way one day and completely flips and goes the other way the next. How can I tell which he truly feels when he says he hates this today and tomorrow he'll say he loves it. Is there something else going on here? My father always wants to make everyone happy and will tell you what you want to hear even if it's not what he truly believes. How can I tell what's real and what isn't? He loses things all the time and can't remember he set something down only a short time before. I know stress affects memory and he's definately been through a lot of stress in the last two years, wife of 30 yeas died, he almost did, moved to another state to live with me and my husband, got married and divorced within 8 months, and now back living with us and has to file bankruptcy because the wife of 8 months spent every penny he had and maxed his credit cards. But are the memory problems a result of stress or something else. Are the changes in opinion or what he cares about also a result of stress in that he can't remember how he felt? I love my father very much and I couldn't be happier that he's living with us, but I'm concerned about his health. Sorry this is so long and so scattered. Thank you in advance for your suggestions.

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Looks like he doesn't want to alienate you now that he needs all the financial support he can get, and knows where his bread is buttered. Still, whenever he says "I hate ___," ask him to elaborate. If he does, that's the real him. Do the same with his "likes" or "fines." Chances are he'll respond with another phrase, like "If it's okay with you it's okay with me." And that's not an honest answer.

Assure him that he's more than welcome at your home, but make it clear it's in his best interest to be honest if he really wants your help. Whenever you feel he's not being sincere, challenge the guy with "When you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything, so spill."

If this doesn't work, go ahead and have him evaluated.
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Definitely the behaviors you describe could be stress-related. The apparently hasty and ill-advised marriage sounds like the exercise of extremely bad judgment. We all forget things under stress. I'll bet that every single one of us who posts here could name a time we used poor judgment. So these may be things he just needs to heal from.

But they very well could indicate dementia. I'm glad you are going to get that checked out.
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Thank you deefer, I'll do that. Dementia is one thing I considered, but was hoping it wasn't. Still, you're right, it's best to check and be sure.
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It sounds like he has had a lot of emotional stress lately and may just need time to heal. But he could also be in the early stages of dementia. Make an appointment for him with your doctor and go with him. Tell the doctor your concerns before you go so he knows what to look for when he meets your dad.
If you are this concerned, it's time to get him evaluated so you can get him the help he needs. Good luck!
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