She's addicted to pain killers which keep her constipated. She is obsessed with her bowels, but refuses to listen to the doctors. They have said they are going to wean her off the pain meds and she flew into a rage. I'm 65 years old and I have no memory of one day in my life of her being well. She has been sick my whole life and now it is unbearable. I'm the only one to care for her. I can't go anywhere, because she calls before I get there writhing in pain and screaming for me to get home. I went to the school to pick up my 7 year old grandson and she called screaming in the phone. She went to bed and won't get up. They tell her to and she gets furious. Everything I say or do us wrong. I cook and clean and she is so messy it is horrible. She throws snotty tissues on the floor and says she can't see.
She refuses to take generic drugs. She won't get on the Medicare prescription drug plan because they won't pay for brand it it comes in generic. When she is in the hospital she is so mean to the nurses and says they are mean to her. They HATE her. They told me they don't know how I put up with her. I say I have no choice. I got her one if the medical alert buttons so that I could at least be able to get away do an hour or two, but she calls and says get home she's dying. I'm exhausted. I have no help. She has a decent retirement from my dad, but she charged up all her credit cards so there's no money to pay for a sitter. She doesn't qualify for any assistance because her income is over the limit even though there's nothing left after bills and groceries.
Am I wrong to be tired of this never ending stess? How do I deal with the guilt of wanting to walk away and never come back? I've never been so tired. I'm 65 with health issues of my own that I just ignore.