The circumstances are not really new, because I've been caring for my mother since childhood. However, the care she needs is far beyond the assistance I used to give her. I have no problem doing it, but the last two years have been hell. If it wasn't my depression, it was my mother's verbal abuse. If it wasn't school, it was my parents disregard to my emotional/mental health throughout all of this. Mind you I've been doing this for nearly 8 years of nonstop caring. I do all of this housework, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Some days I wouldn't sleep due to unfinished work. All without pay. Now my mother's health has gotten worse. She was needing 12+ hour care. Someone needed to be with her majority of the time, or she'd pick arguments just because she knew how'd it make me feel. She enjoyed making me feel guilty for doing simple things such as eating or sleeping too long. Petty things.
I believe I've reached the point where I feel as if I cannot live my life without someone dangling this over my head. I gave up my dream job and college to stay home after she'd gotten ill the first time. (I had mental breakdown shortly after. That's another story.)
Since then, I've been only caregiving. My mother even made my high school graduation about her. (That's another story.) And now, she's wanting to leave rehabilitation center. She thinks we're (my father and I) are leaving her there permanently. When in fact, she's there to regain strength. She's coming home soon, but she wants to come home now. My father wants her to come home despite her physically not being able to care for herself (She was able to bathe, feed, clothe, etc on her own). I feel as if he doesn't care about the fact that I can't handle this on my own. I recently got a job and I start college in a month. If she's coming home now, I will have to drop everything (again) and assist her. (She and my father doesn't want home-health. They are current debating.) My father's telling me we have to "deal with it". It's so frustrating. I'm 19 years old and my whole life is just thrown completely out the window and I feel guilty for wanting to live my own life. And my family isn't making it any better.