The wonderful live in caregiver who has been with us for 5 years sometimes returns after days off with food receipts for reimbursement?
We have a wonderful live in caregiver who has been with us about 5 years. I feel she is very trustwothy. Sometimes when she takes a few days off to return to her home for a few days she returns back with food purchase receipts to get reimbursed for items bought while off duty. (For fish, fruit, etc.) I am never there to actually see these items arrive at my mom's house that she claims are purchased for my mom. Also my mom has very little short term memory, so asking would basically be useless. Typically I might come to my mom's house a week to two later so I really cannot even look for the items, as they would have been eaten. Typically my mom and the aide shop at many stores near my mom's house which my mom pays for. (Mom covers all foods for herself and the aide) Occ the aide will shop alone near mom's house & then I am given an itemized detailed receipt and I reimburse her gladly for these on duty purchases. However, I am questioning those off duty purchases which I reimbursed her over $40.00 for in Nov and near 30.00 in Dec. I did not really question her to the specifics, I was a bit unsure as to how to proceed. She typically goes home about 1x a month and I can see this becoming a pattern. We have a little aide guidelines booklet that I created. I was thinking of adding a section in regard to reimbursements so that she does not feel it is as personally directed at her alone. I am thinking that I should insist on her submitting ONLY on duty purchases with a clear itemized receipt for reimbursement. (The ones she gave me for her off duty purchases were from small mom/pop shops and so they had no identifying descriptions.) While I want to continue our nice working rel I do not want my mom to be taken advantage of financially. I was wondering how other families deal with reimbursements, etc. (In the past these request for off duty reimbursements were very infrequent and for much less amounts, so I never really thought to much about it.)
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I can see how you might worry about things slipping a bit, and want to stop them sliding, but I can't see how you can tackle it without hurting this kind woman's feelings. One way I half-thought of - getting her a little household accounts book and asking her to jot down "extras" in there - nnyyhhmmm, even that would make her wonder whether you're harbouring suspicions; and after five years she might rightly feel you should know her better.
Up to you, but speaking for myself I wouldn't pick now to start making her feel she's not really part of the family.
from raises to covering her online service to using payroll service to covering all food & board, etc.
Mom was a victim of id theft (unfortunately from the aide's teen son) in the past & so I am just being very cautious here. It was a very strange situation, and in my heart i feel she had no involvment but it was for a sig amt and was a horrible sit for everyone.
My mom's lack of awareness just makes it a bit more challenging. if she was more with it, I would not have given the receipts a 2nd hought. Plus there was no verbal explaining about what the items were either which kind of added to the situation. I probably should have questioned the specs on the spot but didnt. Thanks everyone for your input.
Here's a middle-of-the-road response from another paid caregiver .. and someone who is impeccable about money and receipts. I agree with the others that you can be grateful that she's thinking of your mom while she's off-duty. You can also express your concern for tracking expenses. Ask her to please list the items specifically on the receipt, at the time of purchase. While $30 or $40 may seem like peanuts to some, for many elderly who have a very tight budget it's a lot more than peanuts. What you might do, if you haven't already, is offer a specific monthly budget for groceries and miscellaneous expenses. Alternatively, you could place a maximum 'outside monthly allowance' for these kinds of expenses.
Just out of curiosity .. when was the last time you considered/gave her a raise? Expressed your appreciation for her level of care for your mom? I ask this so that you can consider how best to approach her, without offending her. You say she's trustworthy, except now you're questioning the veracity of the expenses, which implies a lack of trust, on some level. Hopefully, you can avert any difficulties and resolve it to everyone's satisfaction. Good luck!