I need advice on a terribly embarrassing situation with my father-in-law...

Tell him if he wants to do that, he has to do it in his room. Just like the little boy that discovers it feels good messing with his penis, if you make a big deal about it he'll do it all the more. But if you tell the kid he MUST do it in his room, they usually get bored and move on. That's just bad behavior. Period.

Hi Jim,
Don't be embarrassed --we pretty much all have had embarrassing moment with our loved ones!

Does your FIL take Requip (or ropinirole ) for his Parkinson's ? I think that is a common drug used for Parkinson's. That can cause sexual side effects and lack of inhibitions. Look it up on the Internet. My suggestion is talk with his doctors! I bet they can help!!! He should get off Requip if he does take it, I think.

Good luck!

put oprah reruns on his tv. that would kill the mood for me.. brrrr

Hi Jim,
I understand about embarrassment with the inappropriate sexual behavior in a parent. My Dad had dementia and it was so shocking at first but I kept reminding myself it was the disease not my Dad. He was given medication, seraquil, (sp?) which helped to calm him. The psychiatric nurse helped to explain the behavior. I learned I had to keep asking for help until I finally got it! Hang in there and remember it is the disease.

Well when my son was 4 he decided to show all the little girls on the bus just what his penis looked like. I was sooo embarassed when the principal called. well after the second time he did it i bought him shorts and sewed the zippers closed and got them one size to big and a nice big belt put on backwards so he couldnt get it off to show anyone anything. He even had to ask for help to go pee because someone had to undo his belt so he got embarassed by that . Maybe it will work for your dad too. worth a try . lol

First of all talk with the doctor they may have something to help out. Doctor's have many things to help if they know what is going on.

Second, don't be embarrassed all of us have parents that do something to embarrass us. I have to keep an eye on my mom or she lifts up her shirt to play with her clothes. I mean she doesn't care who sees what. Of course she says no one is watching. I tell her if she keeps it up, then she doesn't get to go out in public and she will have to stay at home. My mom likes to go and I know that, so that is my black mail tool.

My mom plays with her dentures and I have no idea how to prevent it or stop her. So far none of my techniques are that way.

But it sounds like there might be a drug out there to help your dad, so ask the doctor.

I would think if the doctor rules out this being a side effect for medication, he's using his disease to be an exhibitionist. That would be a deal breaker for me.

What was he like before? It sounds to me like the meds for Parkinson's may be to blame unless he has a history of this bad behavior. I don't even think it would be within the realm of normal for an elderly man to be experiencing orgasms several times a day without 'help'.

His behavior is wrong on so many counts. I don't think this is normal behavior for a Parkinson's patient, but I guess most people wouldn't tell me this. What does your husband say and has he tried to tell his dad, not to do this?

I'd talk to the doctor - both meds and the disease can cause atypical behaviors and you may need ways to manage what cannot be stopped.

Yes, his doctor can prescribe a drug that lowers the testosterone. It is probably soothing to him, and since he has no other release, he releases. It is not a crime to masturbate and when he starts leave the room. Parkinson's is a degenerative disease and it will stop pretty soon given his diagnosis. Make sure all his blood work is current and the testosterone levels checked just to be sure nothing else is going on. He might not be aware he is doing it, his penis may itch, or it just feels good. Stay out of his business and you can do your own thing.

You have my sympathy. Behavior like this is one of the reason's we have to limit my little girl from being around her grandfather. Everyone in the medical field tries to tell us it's just old age, dementia, etc. They don't believe us when we tell them he was a sex obsessed sob for decades. Yep, they believe these people over family members who have letters and family testimony providing proof. We have given up and learned that if you are under a certain age society sees no wrong and if you are over a certain age society sees no wrong.
I would just stay away and don't help him clean up. If he has to sit in his mess after 3-4 times a day, maybe it won't be so fun anymore.

Actually ferris it is a crime to masterbate in public of in front of an unwilling audience. I don't think the issue is the masterbation but where he is doing it. And though we all can sympathize with the man and his disease he needs to zip it in public!
Joycews, what a bad situation. Ugh--- wish I could give you some advice but I just don't know ....:0( (((((hugs))))

Oh I know Mishka, we just keep her away and are in the process of just giving up. I noticed too the original posters comment of, "no matter who may be there." Let's just say if my child was around him (be it a family member or neighbor) it would be my business real fast. We excuse too much in our society with age discrimination.

I will let an elder get away with a little more than your average middle aged Joe but public masterbation ain't one of 'em! If nothing eles I would have a heavy blanket on hand that would get thrown over the old pervert -big enough to cover him and the chair he was in--whenever any action startd up.

It is too bad your little girl cannot have a relationship with her grandpa but good decision there. Better to keep her safe.

1967jim DID NOT state the father-in-law was masterbating in public. In the privacy of one's own home is NOT public. No one should be subjected to view this behavior if one does not choose to view it, and keeping young children away is your duty. However, adults who engage in sexual behavior in the privacy of their own home are NOT breaking the law no matter how deviant you may perceive such behavior. Do not watch, and if it really bothers you, find your father-in-law another place to live.

The old pervert comment was not for your FIL,Jim- but referring to joycews. I was commiserating with her situation--did not want you to think I was referencing yours.

Well, Ferris, what can I say---good to know that you think it is OK to sit in the family room with company and go at it.

MishkaM-No comment to that absurd comment of yours.

But , Ferris, that is exactly what the poster is talking about!!! I don't understand what you are not getting???

Read the information on the meds information sheet you get with your prescriptions. Several meds may cause sexual behavior. A friend was a home health care aide for an man with PD. She would frequently arrive at this home and find him w/o his clothes on from the waist down. She didn't notice too many other behaviors of dementia. Best way to find out why this behavior is present is to ask the Dr. There are also some meds that cause the desire to gamble. Again, read the information sheets!

Ask the Dr. if you can put him on Paxil. It will do wonders for evening out his disposition and a major side effect for men is erectile dysfunction. You'd be killing two birds with one stone.