Care plan meeting at rehab - nonfamily participant. Am I wrong to be ticked off?

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Care plan meeting at rehab - nonfamily participant. Am I wrong to be ticked off?

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Unless the best friend is also the best friend of the person needing care, or unless Sis is engaged to best friend, yes I would be angry and PO'ed too. If she's just a friend, then what's keeping YOU from bringing your bestie? How about that bestie's other friend?

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I know, It bugs me that someone who is not actually involved is putting their 2 cents in. I need no help thinking of questions. I do my research. I was the one who asked nearly all questions and she brought nothing to the party. So what the heck? My sister is not the sharpest or the most assertive knife in the drawer and people around her are always trying to "help" her by standing in for her even though she is there. And it is what she wants: someone else to be her while she sits back. It's annoying. Anyway, it's how I feel that this is a family matter.

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Obviously, a non-family member seems like an intruder. Nevertheless, I don't see it as negative. A non-family person can be more objective because his/her judgement won't be obliterated my emotions. If I were you, I would gladly let a non-family person attend the meeting.

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I have no problem being objective. I really think this is just a family matter. It's just how I feel.

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While it's ncie to have a second set of ears---a non family person who has no responsibility in the care of your LO has no place being there.

And yes, EVERYONE should be OK with this outsider being there. We meet as a family occasionally to dicuss mom and my SIL comes, uninvited and sits and glowers at us all. She doesn't offer and ideas and while, yes, mom lives with her and YB, she CHOSE that dynamic, against 4 other LOUD 'not a good idea' votes.

Sadly, 26 years later, mom is still living with YB and SIL, SIL is not mean, but is dismissive and mad. It makes open discussion absolutely impossible.

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Thank you. I agree. Sorry about your situation.

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Yes, I think you are wrong not to want her there, but I think you are ALSO right in the way to handle the situation.
In fact, WHEN POSSIBLE I always advise people to bring a friend or a tape recorder to meetings to discuss all these things, and especially to discuss diagnosis and treatment. We get anxious. We don't hear. We miss the important questions to ask. I would, were I you, be gently honest about your feelings (they are proper and reasonable) at the meeting, that the friend is there for support and to help your sister, but that the family's questions should be allowed first if there is a time limit, and then the friend might suggest, having "been here" things that your Sister and you may need to know. This should be on the table. Do know that not all facilities even allow "outsiders" and your Sister may have to sit with friend BEFORE the conference, to tell her everything she can think of. And do know, no matter how many friends show up,often things are missed in any case. Good luck.

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Thank you. Well, we just had the care meeting and she was asking questions that did not need to be asked and asked what services were available for him when he is home (but he is not going home yet). She did not wait until the end with her questions, so I don't think my request was passed on to her or else was disregarded. Now is not the time to ask about services for him in the home. There will be another care meeting where that can be asked. I get that part about not hearing, and so I was recording and taking notes. I just think that if anyone is bringing someone outside the family, that all involved should be okay with that beforehand.

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Care plan meeting at rehab - nonfamily participant. Am I wrong to be ticked off?

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