If you've been reading my other threads you will know that Dad is an ideal candidate....

Tried to speak to him the weekend. Its not going to be easy. Basically his attitude is that

"Care homes are where you go to die"

"It means you're family don't care about you and want to pack you off somewhere".

"Its embarrassing to tell friends you've given up and gone into a home"

"Its your families job to look after you no matter what to keep you out of a home".

You can see what I'm up against. This is Dad through and through. Pre-concieved, incorrect, backward ideas....

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Yes. Thing is I know Dad would LOVE a care home.....

I think the "shame" thing with his friends is the most important to him. Its really weird. They try to outdo each other.

The convenience thing is hard with my Dad too. I point out loads of ways to make life easier for him and he just goes along with it.

Also, when he finds out you've got to pay to stay in care home as well. Honestly, he'd expect £10 a night!
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Reply to paulfoel123

Paul; I doubt you will ever convince your dad of anything.

What I did with my mom (apples and oranges, I know); I told her that I could no longer show up for her several emergencies each week.

I pointed out how isolated and depressing her neighborhood was; no sidewalks, no public transport, no neighbors home during the day.

Pointed out that she needed to ask for help to get to doc, etc.

I know that most of these don't apply to your dad. My point is, don't argue. Just make observations over time about what is annoying (to him) about his living environment, i.e., "gee, it must be so annoying to have to wait on the nurse to come over to do your blood test. Must be nice for folks who live where that is done on site and you can get on with your day".

Just a thought.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Pure and simple manipulation, don't fall for it. Make the right decision for him, it is obvious he is unable to do that on his own. It is generational thinking, they are stuck in the way things were done. My brother and I toured many AL's both here in Fl and in AZ, we went to some beautiful places and selected one in AZ for my step dad and his wife, all they do is complain, so now we are moving them here to FL, placing in a 5* home, we can stay on top of things a lot better and determine if any of their complaints are valid or not. Instead of embracing the positives they dwell on the negatives, has gotten real old.
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Reply to DollyMe

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