How do I care for a parent (91) who no longer shows interest in getting up and participating in life?

CF, while I completely agree with FF's empathetic response it's one thing to acknowledge reality and another to have to swallow it - it's a bitter pill, and hard to take. We'd love to think of elders enjoying activities and relationships in a protected community; and some of them certainly do settle happily into the new routines; but then again, compared with flying his own planes, a singalong or a round of poker don't really cut it, do they? You can see your dad's point of view.

What you can still do for your father is keep turning up, and keep talking to him as you naturally would. You might not get much response, there might be a lot less evident interest and enthusiasm than would have been the case before, but what I'm seeing with my mother is that although you can't tell from her tone or her expression she is genuinely pleased to hear from or hear news about her family. Don't let him cut himself off from the people he cares about, that's all.

Freq flyer is right. Let enjoy what he can and don't push him. There may be some meds out there but at 91...... H*ll, I hope I make it to 91.

Thanks for response. Great answer. I think because my dad's mother lived to 102 I just have not been able to accept 91 as being old. I needed this reality check.

Think about it, 91 years is a very long time. He's tired, we will all feel that way once we reach our 90's. He's winding down, it is only natural. If he wants to sleep until noon, so be it, teenagers do it all the time. Also, he has dementia, that can have an affect on his brain, too.